When you think of the word family it generally means a group of people that have links to one common member. Family in the Christian sense means anyone, because God is our father.
The funny thing about family is that we have this urge to seek solace and affection and we expect to be loved by these individuals because we have a common relative. Personally I think this is absolute crap. Blood is thicker than water? BULLSHIT!
My definition of family is, any individual that you feel a profound love for. Fuck it, even your dog can be your family!
I'm unfortunate in the sense that I grew up far away from any cousins my age, and Cohen, Cammy, Ryan and Cally I know what I'm about to say might hurt you'll but the fact is that it is the truth and I know that you'll would feel the same about certain things. I love you'll very much but unfortunately I have not spent that much time with you'll due to the fact that I'm in Jozi and honestly I envy your relationship with each other.
With my family I am the outsider, while most excel at academics I excel at other things, and I never get the recognition I deserve. From anyone. My family is full of really intelligent people, the type of people who have multiple degrees, sometimes in totally different fields. They are the type of people that have made it big. That have whack loads of money. Most of my relatives that are still in school are fucking geniuses and there's me, the runt of the litter.
I'm not here to have a pitty party, but I felt like you needed some idea of what it is. The thing is that I'm expected to exceed their achievements, I'm right now showing no potential of doing it. This scares them, and I constantly get lectures about my future. Its sad really that this "blood" of mine can't accept me for who I am, what I have achieved and the person I really am.
I was explaining to one of my kids in my Sunday school class that he was my brother and he couldn't fathom the fact that I believed strongly in this. OK yeah he was only 6 years old, but still people find it weird that I can call what seems to be a random selection of people my family, my brothers and sisters. The fact is that my friends know me better than my own family, they know how I function they actually give a shit. They actually care with no other motivation except because they love me!
I sometimes feel that with family they feel its their duty to care, to love. This is bullshit. There should be no other motivation but "its because I love you" and when asked why not because your family or I'm your aunty, uncle, cousin or whatever. Fuck that! Ill tell you now, my brother will probably be the only family standing up with me at the altar on my wedding day. Why, because at one stage of his life he said to me "Kyle I hate you" and when I asked why he replied "because you a asshole to me" BOOM! You might see this as disrespect of the highest note, or you might be ripped to shreds because he is your brother, no, I'm not his brother because I'm related to him I'm his brother because he is my best friend and that day I was neither. For that I love him.
So yeah that bullshit that you can't choose your family is bullshit, because I chose mine and yeah some of my blood is considered family but as far as I'm concerned if you have a relative in common with me, sweet we might as well like the same colours .
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Knock Knock
This blogging thing has been a really awesome experience for me. Initially it was an avenue to get rid of pent up frustration and just rip people off but it has evolved.. It has evolved into a place where I can analyse things, people, behaviors and myself.
The highlight of my blogging career was on the 26th of October 2011 when I posted about the Babalas Enoch. I got 95 hits. Now for some its not that many, but when you are averaging at around 10-20 per post and you crack 95 in a matter of hours is insanely huge! So just a word of thanks to everyone reading my blog. I know that I don't get money out of it but it brings me a sense of satisfaction that people from all over the world and from different walks of life are reading my thoughts on a page.
I remember when I was younger I had to write an English essay about the life of a coin. There are always things that change your outlook on life, and I believe that that essay did change mine. In the essay I put myself in the position of the coin and told the story of its life. From when it was minted feeling all good, to a time when he was abandoned on the street and even at one stage fulfilling a little girls dream when she woke up and found that the Tooth Fairy had left this coin under her pillow in exchange for her tooth!
After writing that, I never looked at a coin the same, I look at the date it was minted and I'm in awe at what this coin must have been through, what its witnessed and what its experienced. Who has held this? Could this have been in the hand of Mandela? Or even a drug lord? Its crazy if you think about it.
Its not only coins though, pebbles on a river bank, a old car, old tire. Everything has a story! Including you and me!
That's the one thing I love about this big beautiful blue planet! That you and me are so different, like a coin we have our own experiences, our own scars. We are a list of individuals, unique but yet all the same and this intrigues me quite a lot.
I have a story to share, like you have read. I've had experiences but they are probably so much different, or so similar to yours! You might not want to admit it but we as human beings are really quite similar!
What fascinates me even more is that there are people that are reading this that I probably have never met before, people that I probably will never meet. And it kind of kills me to know that 'Thought Simply Thought' is an extension of myself, some of the stuff is really intimate and I don't know who you are? Don't get me wrong it does bring me a weird sense of joy knowing that strangers read my blog.
What I really want to know is how did you find this particular blog?? I want to know your story! Please?
Drop me an email kylereddy0@gmail.com
Or follow me on twitter (my name is in the blurb under the title.)
'Knock Knock'
"Whose there?"
The highlight of my blogging career was on the 26th of October 2011 when I posted about the Babalas Enoch. I got 95 hits. Now for some its not that many, but when you are averaging at around 10-20 per post and you crack 95 in a matter of hours is insanely huge! So just a word of thanks to everyone reading my blog. I know that I don't get money out of it but it brings me a sense of satisfaction that people from all over the world and from different walks of life are reading my thoughts on a page.
I remember when I was younger I had to write an English essay about the life of a coin. There are always things that change your outlook on life, and I believe that that essay did change mine. In the essay I put myself in the position of the coin and told the story of its life. From when it was minted feeling all good, to a time when he was abandoned on the street and even at one stage fulfilling a little girls dream when she woke up and found that the Tooth Fairy had left this coin under her pillow in exchange for her tooth!
After writing that, I never looked at a coin the same, I look at the date it was minted and I'm in awe at what this coin must have been through, what its witnessed and what its experienced. Who has held this? Could this have been in the hand of Mandela? Or even a drug lord? Its crazy if you think about it.
Its not only coins though, pebbles on a river bank, a old car, old tire. Everything has a story! Including you and me!
That's the one thing I love about this big beautiful blue planet! That you and me are so different, like a coin we have our own experiences, our own scars. We are a list of individuals, unique but yet all the same and this intrigues me quite a lot.
I have a story to share, like you have read. I've had experiences but they are probably so much different, or so similar to yours! You might not want to admit it but we as human beings are really quite similar!
What fascinates me even more is that there are people that are reading this that I probably have never met before, people that I probably will never meet. And it kind of kills me to know that 'Thought Simply Thought' is an extension of myself, some of the stuff is really intimate and I don't know who you are? Don't get me wrong it does bring me a weird sense of joy knowing that strangers read my blog.
What I really want to know is how did you find this particular blog?? I want to know your story! Please?
Drop me an email kylereddy0@gmail.com
Or follow me on twitter (my name is in the blurb under the title.)
'Knock Knock'
"Whose there?"
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A Babalas Enoch
I bummed a lift to Melrose Arch the other day,it was with a colleague of my moms. His name was Guy. I kid you not! Apart from his weird name, Guy, he had a weird demeanor about him. Putting that aside I hopped into his green car eager to get going to my job shadowing.
On entering his car I noticed he had a small metal figure sitting on his dash bored. This metal sculpture was of a man sitting with his head resting in his right hand while his elbow rested on his thigh. I thought it was a really cool figure thing. Seemed like an interesting conversation piece.
After about 5 minutes of thinking about this figure, thinking of what was this little sculptures story. It must be a representation of the artist, maybe he was depressed? Maybe he regretted doing something? Maybe he had seen someone sitting in that position? If so what was that guys story? So I told Guy that his little metal man was really cool and he said "I call him my Babalas Enoch." (Babalas- South African term for Hangover, Enoch- I don't know..)
This hit me by surprise and I was a tad taken aback by Guys comment, here I'm thinking that this little man has something wrong, for all we know he could be crying and Guy sees it as a babalas person? This got me thinking.
We see things and intemperate things so differently depending on where our head is at the moment. This little man to me was holding his head because his thoughts where too heavy for his neck to support and Guy is like yeah he is hungover.
I think that this is really beautiful, because each and everyone of us see something in something. Get what I'm saying? Like when a psychologist tells you to look at a blob of paint on a paper, and you have to tell them what comes to mind. Like when you look at someone you are in love with, you can't see their faults. you see them, you see beauty. While your best friends sees absolutely nothing.
So I believe there is no such thing as a beautiful, or ugly person. Its just an interpretation of where your head is at. As for the Babalas Enoch, to me he will be the heavy thinker.
On entering his car I noticed he had a small metal figure sitting on his dash bored. This metal sculpture was of a man sitting with his head resting in his right hand while his elbow rested on his thigh. I thought it was a really cool figure thing. Seemed like an interesting conversation piece.
After about 5 minutes of thinking about this figure, thinking of what was this little sculptures story. It must be a representation of the artist, maybe he was depressed? Maybe he regretted doing something? Maybe he had seen someone sitting in that position? If so what was that guys story? So I told Guy that his little metal man was really cool and he said "I call him my Babalas Enoch." (Babalas- South African term for Hangover, Enoch- I don't know..)
This hit me by surprise and I was a tad taken aback by Guys comment, here I'm thinking that this little man has something wrong, for all we know he could be crying and Guy sees it as a babalas person? This got me thinking.
We see things and intemperate things so differently depending on where our head is at the moment. This little man to me was holding his head because his thoughts where too heavy for his neck to support and Guy is like yeah he is hungover.
I think that this is really beautiful, because each and everyone of us see something in something. Get what I'm saying? Like when a psychologist tells you to look at a blob of paint on a paper, and you have to tell them what comes to mind. Like when you look at someone you are in love with, you can't see their faults. you see them, you see beauty. While your best friends sees absolutely nothing.
So I believe there is no such thing as a beautiful, or ugly person. Its just an interpretation of where your head is at. As for the Babalas Enoch, to me he will be the heavy thinker.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Little House On The Hills
So this weekend is my grans brothers 50th wedding anniversary and we where invited. Its down in Petermaritzburg so the long journey awaited..
A lot of South Africans complain about our country and I know this might sound like a cliche but have we ever noticed how beautiful this country truly is? We are so blinded by our problems that we fail to see the brilliance God has blessed us with. Our natural beauty rivals many others.
I've often driven to Durban from Johannesburg, on the N3 South, as many of us do, and I always stare out the window as we drive past the cars, aimlessly in thought. One thing that is noticeable are the farms and an about two hours outside Johannesburg, the landscape, that consists of random mountains and open savanna. Absolutely stunning. This is just looking out the window, and when shades of brown from the savanna start turning to the greens of the midland, you know your about 2 hours from your destination. Another city. More roads, tall buildings, cars, and masses of people. What's to get excited for? Oh yeah, the beach, if you can hustle a good spot, but there is still so much noise. I can't believe I got excited for that! If it where just the breeze and crashing waves yeah it would be sweet, but is it ever?
We booked into this place near Mooiriver. It is absolutely beautiful. Its very simple, a gravel road, a small one bedroom house, a couple of trout dams, a small makeshift mushy golf course and horses. Its as if someone found this little spot, between the hills and was like" hey, let's put up a couple little houses and let it be.."
Well the point of this all is to say that we so often get caught up in the hype, negativity and just things in general, that we often forget about little places like this, where it doesn't seem like anything has happened, no politics, no crime and no negativity. This little place seems untouched, compared to Johannesburg where with each new day brings a new road.
Honestly, let's admit that the little most of us have seen of this country, we can say its a thing of beauty. God has truly blessed us abundantly. Desmond Tutu is onto something. He knows, he has seen and he marvels at the greatness, the marvelous, out amazing God. So what are we doing complaining about small things? Why do we complain? There is no place on Earth that is perfect, but I'll tell you this! South Africa comes pretty damn close to perfect! Please don't come and moan about our economy, and petty things. If you not willing to get off your ass and try make this beautiful land better then don't talk.
There is no signal here, so no contact from the outside world till we go into the city tomorrow night for the reunion, and to be honest, there is only one person I think I'll miss. I think. It will also give me time away to think. Away from technology and other influences. I say this and I'm typing this out.. Who knows what this beautiful, peaceful place will bring me? Will it bring me the clarity I've been seeking? I don't know, but for now I'll look ahead and see rolling green hills and a couple of farms. All ill hear are the birds, horses and wind.
"Free the animals"- Dave Van Vuuren. No mate you got it wrong, we are the caged animals, we need to free ourselves.
A lot of South Africans complain about our country and I know this might sound like a cliche but have we ever noticed how beautiful this country truly is? We are so blinded by our problems that we fail to see the brilliance God has blessed us with. Our natural beauty rivals many others.
I've often driven to Durban from Johannesburg, on the N3 South, as many of us do, and I always stare out the window as we drive past the cars, aimlessly in thought. One thing that is noticeable are the farms and an about two hours outside Johannesburg, the landscape, that consists of random mountains and open savanna. Absolutely stunning. This is just looking out the window, and when shades of brown from the savanna start turning to the greens of the midland, you know your about 2 hours from your destination. Another city. More roads, tall buildings, cars, and masses of people. What's to get excited for? Oh yeah, the beach, if you can hustle a good spot, but there is still so much noise. I can't believe I got excited for that! If it where just the breeze and crashing waves yeah it would be sweet, but is it ever?
We booked into this place near Mooiriver. It is absolutely beautiful. Its very simple, a gravel road, a small one bedroom house, a couple of trout dams, a small makeshift mushy golf course and horses. Its as if someone found this little spot, between the hills and was like" hey, let's put up a couple little houses and let it be.."
Well the point of this all is to say that we so often get caught up in the hype, negativity and just things in general, that we often forget about little places like this, where it doesn't seem like anything has happened, no politics, no crime and no negativity. This little place seems untouched, compared to Johannesburg where with each new day brings a new road.
Honestly, let's admit that the little most of us have seen of this country, we can say its a thing of beauty. God has truly blessed us abundantly. Desmond Tutu is onto something. He knows, he has seen and he marvels at the greatness, the marvelous, out amazing God. So what are we doing complaining about small things? Why do we complain? There is no place on Earth that is perfect, but I'll tell you this! South Africa comes pretty damn close to perfect! Please don't come and moan about our economy, and petty things. If you not willing to get off your ass and try make this beautiful land better then don't talk.
There is no signal here, so no contact from the outside world till we go into the city tomorrow night for the reunion, and to be honest, there is only one person I think I'll miss. I think. It will also give me time away to think. Away from technology and other influences. I say this and I'm typing this out.. Who knows what this beautiful, peaceful place will bring me? Will it bring me the clarity I've been seeking? I don't know, but for now I'll look ahead and see rolling green hills and a couple of farms. All ill hear are the birds, horses and wind.
"Free the animals"- Dave Van Vuuren. No mate you got it wrong, we are the caged animals, we need to free ourselves.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Women!!!!
The amount of times I've said that the person that writes a book on how a woman work will make millions, billions even! He or she would be the next Nobel Peace Prize winner, for their contribution to humanity!
So, this is not my shot at winning the Nobel Peace Prize, because you'd end up getting some women rights activist knocking at my door at some random hour in the morning, ready to chop my balls off because how dare I stereotype a female?! The funny thing is that its true, you know that it will probably happen. Women are like that. Whatever they supposed to be, they just can't settle.
Ok this is going to sound really sexist but women always got this point to prove, that they can compete with men, that they can stay equal. Why? What's there to prove? The thing is that we just let you'll think that, I mean let's be real the whole thing about "a women's place is in the kitchen" bullshit, let's get real. The best chefs in the world are men. We just let you'll think that you'll own us at something, but really no.
Ever gone shopping with a woman? Seriously, how long does it take to pick out clothes? Its the most frustrating thing in the world! They spend hours on end trying to find the perfect look, then return it after they get home because they have changed their minds. And their votes count? They can't decide on a pair of shoes, how the fuck are they supposed to choose a president?!
Ok let's get serious now, a women place in the world is a vital one, to humanity as a whole. Like let's be honest life would be a solid joll if it where us guys chilling around a braai, with a beer watching the Football on a Saturday afternoon. And then what?
The truth is that men cannot function without a woman by their side. "Behind every good man is a great woman" - (can't remember who said that) I mean while I may rant about how long it takes a woman to shop, I wouldn't be able to shop for my self, clothes would consist of gym shorts and a t shirt groceries would be chips, chocolate, tuna, mayo and two minute noodles.
The heart of a woman is something else aswel, its so pure, so soft so loving. The endless amount of love and affection a woman has for things around them is beautiful. As long as us men live we will not be able to function without the influence for a woman.
Guys the truth is that women are really complicated beings, and that's why no one has figured them out. Because firstly if they did that book would be too thick for someone to consider even reading, and that each person is different. While us men are simple beings (yes its true), women aren't they function in different ways. They have got to feel challenged by you, at the same time feel small and safe in your arms.
We as men are indebted to women, first of all our mothers second of all they give up their life to be apart of yours. Isn't that amazing? Women are not equal to us, its true, they are way more superior, they are complex. We men have just got the fact that we better at sports, physical things. We are arguing that we are more Neanderthal like then them? Really.
Women deserve more than what we are actually giving them credit for. Although it wasn't a women that came up with the theory of E=mc2, it was a woman who carried that child for 9 months.
I think I've figured out the obsession of women for that Edward Cullen vampire guy. Its not that he is a blood sucking funny looking parasite, but that he is old school, he is a proper gentleman. We might see it as corny but hey if girls like it then why not?
So guys, let's stop this neanderthal idea that woman are there for a place to stick your dick, and let's be chivalrous. Let's give women the best MEN that we can be, not the douches that we believe we should be. "Having a dick makes you male, not a man"- brotip #836
And for the ladies, I believe that the prettiest a woman looks is when she doesn't try. Keep it simple. Natural beauty is best. "Girls shouldn't be finding the one guy that they can lose their virginity to, they should be looking for the one that will help them keep it" - unknown.
So, this is not my shot at winning the Nobel Peace Prize, because you'd end up getting some women rights activist knocking at my door at some random hour in the morning, ready to chop my balls off because how dare I stereotype a female?! The funny thing is that its true, you know that it will probably happen. Women are like that. Whatever they supposed to be, they just can't settle.
Ok this is going to sound really sexist but women always got this point to prove, that they can compete with men, that they can stay equal. Why? What's there to prove? The thing is that we just let you'll think that, I mean let's be real the whole thing about "a women's place is in the kitchen" bullshit, let's get real. The best chefs in the world are men. We just let you'll think that you'll own us at something, but really no.
Ever gone shopping with a woman? Seriously, how long does it take to pick out clothes? Its the most frustrating thing in the world! They spend hours on end trying to find the perfect look, then return it after they get home because they have changed their minds. And their votes count? They can't decide on a pair of shoes, how the fuck are they supposed to choose a president?!
Ok let's get serious now, a women place in the world is a vital one, to humanity as a whole. Like let's be honest life would be a solid joll if it where us guys chilling around a braai, with a beer watching the Football on a Saturday afternoon. And then what?
The truth is that men cannot function without a woman by their side. "Behind every good man is a great woman" - (can't remember who said that) I mean while I may rant about how long it takes a woman to shop, I wouldn't be able to shop for my self, clothes would consist of gym shorts and a t shirt groceries would be chips, chocolate, tuna, mayo and two minute noodles.
The heart of a woman is something else aswel, its so pure, so soft so loving. The endless amount of love and affection a woman has for things around them is beautiful. As long as us men live we will not be able to function without the influence for a woman.
Guys the truth is that women are really complicated beings, and that's why no one has figured them out. Because firstly if they did that book would be too thick for someone to consider even reading, and that each person is different. While us men are simple beings (yes its true), women aren't they function in different ways. They have got to feel challenged by you, at the same time feel small and safe in your arms.
We as men are indebted to women, first of all our mothers second of all they give up their life to be apart of yours. Isn't that amazing? Women are not equal to us, its true, they are way more superior, they are complex. We men have just got the fact that we better at sports, physical things. We are arguing that we are more Neanderthal like then them? Really.
Women deserve more than what we are actually giving them credit for. Although it wasn't a women that came up with the theory of E=mc2, it was a woman who carried that child for 9 months.
I think I've figured out the obsession of women for that Edward Cullen vampire guy. Its not that he is a blood sucking funny looking parasite, but that he is old school, he is a proper gentleman. We might see it as corny but hey if girls like it then why not?
So guys, let's stop this neanderthal idea that woman are there for a place to stick your dick, and let's be chivalrous. Let's give women the best MEN that we can be, not the douches that we believe we should be. "Having a dick makes you male, not a man"- brotip #836
And for the ladies, I believe that the prettiest a woman looks is when she doesn't try. Keep it simple. Natural beauty is best. "Girls shouldn't be finding the one guy that they can lose their virginity to, they should be looking for the one that will help them keep it" - unknown.
Friday, October 14, 2011
The Magic Box
So the invention of the television is no doubt one of the greatest. Eliminating boredom and bringing life to the everyday house hold. It is also a way to relay information to the mass public. Improvements on this front have been vast and far between! We can now watch live events from the other side of the world, that looks better than real life!
Apart from watching the Rugby, TV also provided us with a tool for procrastination and a new form of Drama, called acting! This was kind of improved upon the stage acting. In turn this acting introduced us to series, movies and cartoons, but what seems to be the most popular is Reality Television...
On DSTV there is a whole channel that is basically all about reality TV. What is this reality television I speak of. Its basically a person or a group of people being followed around by a camera crew as they live out their everyday life. What intrigues me the most, is that the people that are being followed are the rich and famous.
What is it that so intrigues us about the rich and famous that we would spend countless hours in front of the television to watch other people live out their lives in their perfect world? That's just it? I think you could watch their lives to know that they aren't perfect, or you could be watching aspiring to be like them. I think that we are just so drawn to an Utopia that we think exists.
We want to have a peep into another world different to ours, a world we all wish to have. We watch people we wish to look like and be like. Oh and that stupid shit that's on MTV.. We like to laugh at the stupidity at people, we want to feel superior. as for the teenage pregnancy crap, "Who the eff knows!?".
What really baffles me about this new aged reality television thing is why people watch it?
Firstly, there are like 100 other better things on TV, check the Discovery Channel or National Geographic, maybe you'll learn something worth while?
Secondly, your wasting your life away on the couch watching someone els live theirs? See the irony?! Go live your life!
And thirdly, these people are earning money by living their own lives and being the people that they are! Take the hint. So be yourself, you never know you might get a reality TV series of your own!
Apart from watching the Rugby, TV also provided us with a tool for procrastination and a new form of Drama, called acting! This was kind of improved upon the stage acting. In turn this acting introduced us to series, movies and cartoons, but what seems to be the most popular is Reality Television...
On DSTV there is a whole channel that is basically all about reality TV. What is this reality television I speak of. Its basically a person or a group of people being followed around by a camera crew as they live out their everyday life. What intrigues me the most, is that the people that are being followed are the rich and famous.
We want to have a peep into another world different to ours, a world we all wish to have. We watch people we wish to look like and be like. Oh and that stupid shit that's on MTV.. We like to laugh at the stupidity at people, we want to feel superior. as for the teenage pregnancy crap, "Who the eff knows!?".
What really baffles me about this new aged reality television thing is why people watch it?
Firstly, there are like 100 other better things on TV, check the Discovery Channel or National Geographic, maybe you'll learn something worth while?
Secondly, your wasting your life away on the couch watching someone els live theirs? See the irony?! Go live your life!
And thirdly, these people are earning money by living their own lives and being the people that they are! Take the hint. So be yourself, you never know you might get a reality TV series of your own!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Psychology Isle
I was in the book store, believe it or not and I was just taking a look at the reading trends.
Looking through the shelves I noticed that in the teen section things are still all about vampire romance, I saw a hole lot of diaries for 2012 and decided to go visit the Psychology section. Thinking that it would have books on how the mind functions and how to control thought and thought processes. Things like that. To my surprise and disappointment I noticed all these self development books, the common trend here was "Success". The common trend among us all is success.
Again I noticed that all the books where focused on making money. I had a little chuckle at myself. A brotip came to mind "#1144 money can't buy happiness, it can buy music. Close enough.". Bam it hit me. People are fooled by the money = success idea. It kind of does though.
I went out and asked a few of my contacts on B.B.M. what success means and almost every answer came back with the idea of being financially stable. Having that job, living a comfortable lifestyle. Also having a family came up often, but is it possible with out money? Yes it is. Will you be contempt raising a family on a low salary? Probably not. No happiness = no success!
So with out this stable financial environment, we are unable to be completely successful? You could compare it to soccer, possession- successful, attempts at goal- unsuccessful. Did they win the game? Probably not. Unsuccessful fixture. Get where I'm at?
So what I am saying is that no matter where your morals lie, no matter how many times we deny the fact that money rules our life. We are all driven by this instinctive need to be successful, to live in a perfect comfortable environment. Which can only be made possible by money. So believe it or not, money actually has us by the balls! How much it actually controls your success is then determined by your view of success, living the humble or material life.
So everything we are doing right now is to have money, so that our life can function. Believe it or not!
The end of the day success is pretty different to all of us, but the common theme is that we want to live comfortably and have a family. We want to support ourselves with out having the issue of worrying about not having money.
So in actual fact money might not be able to buy happiness, but it does play a key role in being happy! Who would have known?
••••••••
Success for me is having a wife and kids living comfortably, within our means. Not to have stress with financial problems. And watching my kids grow up on the Christian path. If I achieve that. I will be successful.
Thanx to the people that answered my questions!
Looking through the shelves I noticed that in the teen section things are still all about vampire romance, I saw a hole lot of diaries for 2012 and decided to go visit the Psychology section. Thinking that it would have books on how the mind functions and how to control thought and thought processes. Things like that. To my surprise and disappointment I noticed all these self development books, the common trend here was "Success". The common trend among us all is success.
I went out and asked a few of my contacts on B.B.M. what success means and almost every answer came back with the idea of being financially stable. Having that job, living a comfortable lifestyle. Also having a family came up often, but is it possible with out money? Yes it is. Will you be contempt raising a family on a low salary? Probably not. No happiness = no success!
So with out this stable financial environment, we are unable to be completely successful? You could compare it to soccer, possession- successful, attempts at goal- unsuccessful. Did they win the game? Probably not. Unsuccessful fixture. Get where I'm at?
So what I am saying is that no matter where your morals lie, no matter how many times we deny the fact that money rules our life. We are all driven by this instinctive need to be successful, to live in a perfect comfortable environment. Which can only be made possible by money. So believe it or not, money actually has us by the balls! How much it actually controls your success is then determined by your view of success, living the humble or material life.
So everything we are doing right now is to have money, so that our life can function. Believe it or not!
The end of the day success is pretty different to all of us, but the common theme is that we want to live comfortably and have a family. We want to support ourselves with out having the issue of worrying about not having money.
So in actual fact money might not be able to buy happiness, but it does play a key role in being happy! Who would have known?
••••••••
Success for me is having a wife and kids living comfortably, within our means. Not to have stress with financial problems. And watching my kids grow up on the Christian path. If I achieve that. I will be successful.
Thanx to the people that answered my questions!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
"Do I Get Any Change With That?"
I asked this question at a shop the other to know if I should put my wallet back in my pocket or not. The answer was yes.
The thing is that there will always be change, nothing stays constant. So it's kind of pointless fighting it, we just got to accept and go with the flow.
Personally a lot of change had gone on in my life over the past four or so years, having my dad walk out and all that jazz. Although this might affect some people, truth be told I never liked my dad anyway (apparently I'm a good judge of character), but it never really hit me. This I can owe to my mother who tried her hardest to keep our lives unchanged. Then the day came when something had to give. The house was sold and we where moving. The weekend before we moved was when it hit me. Flat in the face. When I had to carry my two Huskys Jack and Maya and put them into the back of a bakkie that would take them to a farm, where they would help Rehab patients. That was the day that I wanted to literally punch my father in the face until... Yeah.
I'm a total dog person. Give me any dog and I'll enjoy them. I've always grown up with dogs. The ones that where special to me where Bonnie, Bishop, Jack and Maya. They where my dogs.
Bonnie was there from the day I was born. She was a cross breed of German Shepard and Great Dane, she was beautiful, my mom told me of how she introduced me to her and Clyde. Apparently the one day I was crying and Bonnie came into the house and sat by my cot. Then didn't want to let my mom near me because she was so pissed off that she would let me cry. I watched home videos of me chilling in the back yard with two massive dogs on either side, sometimes hanging on their ears! I even remember going out and eating their chunks with them, feeding them with my hands and having a nap with them in their kennel.
Bonnie was still around when my brother was born, Clyde had died and we got a pure bred magpie Great Dane named him Bishop because he had a white dot write on his neck like a Priest! My brother would crawl around the back yard and mess with the puppy Bishop! Bonnie watching over, if my brother got too close to the pool or anything dangerous Bonnie would nudge him away. We where always safe.
Bishop was a nut! Like a huge horse clumsy looking. Always had this happy trot about him and when he lied down he would cross his front paws, a very civilized gentleman he was! He used to watch the football with my dad and I and go absolutely mad when I screamed for a goal! The one day we baked this awesome bread from scratch on the braai, it smelt amazing! Left it to cool in the kitchen! Bam next thing you know its gone! Bishop helped himself!
We picked up Maya from the SPCA. A beautiful hazel Siberian Husky. One pale blue almost white eye and a hazel eye. Bishop and Maya two peas in a pod! In separable. I remember when we brought Maya home, she was scared shitless! She hid under the shed for a week. On a Saturday Bishop and I sat there literally the whole day and waited for her to come out. Bishop thought he did something, the guy looked so bleak! We eventually got her out. Bishop was the type of dog you didn't have to put on a leash, in fact the one day he went for a stroll and the lady from up the road found him and he showed her the way back home! You couldn't separate the two, they would cry incessantly. One day Bishop stopped eating and lost a hell of a lot of weight, we took him to the vet and he had cancer. Saying bye to him was really hard. He didn't want to come back home, he didn't want to put us through it. Maya cried for weeks.
Jack was another Siberian Husky from the SPCA. Same eyes as Maya, he was black! My dogs actually used to talk to you! In this howling like thing and you could reply back and they would reply! Jack picked this up very quick and let me tell you this dense guy was amazing to talk to! Within the first week he ran out the gate, and across Comaro road getting knocked twice then back up into until the fool realized he got hit then started limping! My heart sank.. I ran to him carried him home and noticed he was bleeding, I cleaned up the cut on his paw, and after getting knocked by two cars you'd expect him to be broken? We where pulling out the car to take him to the vet and where is Jack? Running around and jumping like nothing happened!
Maya and Jack, laziest Huskys if ever, they hogged the heater in winter, hogged my blanket! Licked my face at 5:30 every morning. Most importantly Licked my tears away during the hard times.
Those guys above where MY dogs, you did anything to them and I'd have your head! Haha, unfortunately as a result of selfishness something did happen to them. I still struggle to fall asleep knowing that there is no extra warmth in my bed, no one to share my food with, it kills me to throw away braai bones.
Seeing Jack and Maya in the back of that bakkie last year is what ripped me to pieces. Yes, that day changed my life. That day I realized that my dogs where the only constant in my life, my strong hold. I could lose everything in my life but as long as I had them I'd be fine, never did I think there would be no one barking when I got home. No protection.
"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan
Yes I got change with my purchase. Not the type I wanted, but change none the less. So now moving again, I can't help but get pissed off at my father, I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for his actions resulting in me losing my dogs. Only time will tell.
"Change is inevitable, so shut your mouth and deal with it!"- Kyle Reddy.
The thing is that there will always be change, nothing stays constant. So it's kind of pointless fighting it, we just got to accept and go with the flow.
Personally a lot of change had gone on in my life over the past four or so years, having my dad walk out and all that jazz. Although this might affect some people, truth be told I never liked my dad anyway (apparently I'm a good judge of character), but it never really hit me. This I can owe to my mother who tried her hardest to keep our lives unchanged. Then the day came when something had to give. The house was sold and we where moving. The weekend before we moved was when it hit me. Flat in the face. When I had to carry my two Huskys Jack and Maya and put them into the back of a bakkie that would take them to a farm, where they would help Rehab patients. That was the day that I wanted to literally punch my father in the face until... Yeah.
I'm a total dog person. Give me any dog and I'll enjoy them. I've always grown up with dogs. The ones that where special to me where Bonnie, Bishop, Jack and Maya. They where my dogs.
Bonnie was there from the day I was born. She was a cross breed of German Shepard and Great Dane, she was beautiful, my mom told me of how she introduced me to her and Clyde. Apparently the one day I was crying and Bonnie came into the house and sat by my cot. Then didn't want to let my mom near me because she was so pissed off that she would let me cry. I watched home videos of me chilling in the back yard with two massive dogs on either side, sometimes hanging on their ears! I even remember going out and eating their chunks with them, feeding them with my hands and having a nap with them in their kennel.
Bonnie was still around when my brother was born, Clyde had died and we got a pure bred magpie Great Dane named him Bishop because he had a white dot write on his neck like a Priest! My brother would crawl around the back yard and mess with the puppy Bishop! Bonnie watching over, if my brother got too close to the pool or anything dangerous Bonnie would nudge him away. We where always safe.
Bishop was a nut! Like a huge horse clumsy looking. Always had this happy trot about him and when he lied down he would cross his front paws, a very civilized gentleman he was! He used to watch the football with my dad and I and go absolutely mad when I screamed for a goal! The one day we baked this awesome bread from scratch on the braai, it smelt amazing! Left it to cool in the kitchen! Bam next thing you know its gone! Bishop helped himself!
We picked up Maya from the SPCA. A beautiful hazel Siberian Husky. One pale blue almost white eye and a hazel eye. Bishop and Maya two peas in a pod! In separable. I remember when we brought Maya home, she was scared shitless! She hid under the shed for a week. On a Saturday Bishop and I sat there literally the whole day and waited for her to come out. Bishop thought he did something, the guy looked so bleak! We eventually got her out. Bishop was the type of dog you didn't have to put on a leash, in fact the one day he went for a stroll and the lady from up the road found him and he showed her the way back home! You couldn't separate the two, they would cry incessantly. One day Bishop stopped eating and lost a hell of a lot of weight, we took him to the vet and he had cancer. Saying bye to him was really hard. He didn't want to come back home, he didn't want to put us through it. Maya cried for weeks.
Jack was another Siberian Husky from the SPCA. Same eyes as Maya, he was black! My dogs actually used to talk to you! In this howling like thing and you could reply back and they would reply! Jack picked this up very quick and let me tell you this dense guy was amazing to talk to! Within the first week he ran out the gate, and across Comaro road getting knocked twice then back up into until the fool realized he got hit then started limping! My heart sank.. I ran to him carried him home and noticed he was bleeding, I cleaned up the cut on his paw, and after getting knocked by two cars you'd expect him to be broken? We where pulling out the car to take him to the vet and where is Jack? Running around and jumping like nothing happened!
Maya and Jack, laziest Huskys if ever, they hogged the heater in winter, hogged my blanket! Licked my face at 5:30 every morning. Most importantly Licked my tears away during the hard times.
Those guys above where MY dogs, you did anything to them and I'd have your head! Haha, unfortunately as a result of selfishness something did happen to them. I still struggle to fall asleep knowing that there is no extra warmth in my bed, no one to share my food with, it kills me to throw away braai bones.
Seeing Jack and Maya in the back of that bakkie last year is what ripped me to pieces. Yes, that day changed my life. That day I realized that my dogs where the only constant in my life, my strong hold. I could lose everything in my life but as long as I had them I'd be fine, never did I think there would be no one barking when I got home. No protection.
"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan
Yes I got change with my purchase. Not the type I wanted, but change none the less. So now moving again, I can't help but get pissed off at my father, I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for his actions resulting in me losing my dogs. Only time will tell.
"Change is inevitable, so shut your mouth and deal with it!"- Kyle Reddy.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
"Who The Fuck Knows?"
You know people are always talking about this happy place, a place in your mind or in reality where everything melts away. The stress and the worry, where there is no war, no fighting, no crying, screaming or fear, no tears just perfect contentment.
On form four camp, on our way down the mountain I found a spot where the sunlight broke through the leaves in little beams, the floor was covered by soft leaves and there was a stream. This I thought to myself is my happy place. That when told to find it I would think of this.
At this point in my life I'm really confused about a lot of things, life, love, future, past. You could say I need some guidance but each new person to give me advice kind of just builds on the knowledge of what I already have. It seems that I have a lot of thinking to do. In terms on where this path that I'm making for myself is going to go, the scariest thing though is that this is a path I'm creating myself, I have no mentors, no rolemodel and no one to seek advice from. No one has walked my path. At least when I wanted to play for Liverpool I had Gerrard, Ian Rush, Robbie Fowler and John Barnes to look up to, and say "hey this is how Rushie did it, that's what I'm going to do!" Today my cousin said that our biggest disadvantage is that our family isn't loaded. That we knew that whatever we did its fine because we had something to fall back on.
I don't think I have a happy place yet. I've really being trying to find this Utopia, but I just can't. Maybe it is due to the fact that I'm struggling to find myself to realise who I am? What's my purpose? or maybe its because I'm struggling to see a point to a lot of things.
I tried this meditation thing, and like I did it in stages:
Stage 1: Pray
Stage 2: Reflect
Stage 3: Think (this takes a hell of a long time because unfortunately I tend to think about EVERY little detail)
Stage 4: Stop thinking (Yes this is a stage because it's really hard)
Stage 5: Get negativity out your body and
Stage 6: Nothing...
I found this really calming, because in the 20minutes that I did this I felt completely calm afterwards, I fell back on my pillow and had the best nights sleep I've ever had. That state of nothingness calmed me.
I've recently been watching a hell of a lot of documentaries, one of witch was this guy who for two and a half years walled along the Amazon river. He started where. The first droplets are formed on the snow capped mountains of Peru and then along the tributary. He started off with a mate and two months in this guy pulled out, it was effectively on him and his guide. For two and a half years this guy trekked stopping at villages along the way, walking through hostile drug smuggling territory. This amazed me as I thought "Shit all that time! You must come out knowing exactly who you are, this guy had an amazing amount of mental strength."
I feel that I need something like that. No distractions, no phone, no TV not anything. Dump me somewhere isolated and let me figure out this puzzle in my head that just happens to be my life. Let find importance of the little things again, instead of seeing how it fits in the big picture. I need an expedition of self discovery to find my path, because right now "Who the fuck knows?".
So in terms of finding your happy place? First you got to figure out what makes you happy, and to find that you have got to know who you are.
On form four camp, on our way down the mountain I found a spot where the sunlight broke through the leaves in little beams, the floor was covered by soft leaves and there was a stream. This I thought to myself is my happy place. That when told to find it I would think of this.
At this point in my life I'm really confused about a lot of things, life, love, future, past. You could say I need some guidance but each new person to give me advice kind of just builds on the knowledge of what I already have. It seems that I have a lot of thinking to do. In terms on where this path that I'm making for myself is going to go, the scariest thing though is that this is a path I'm creating myself, I have no mentors, no rolemodel and no one to seek advice from. No one has walked my path. At least when I wanted to play for Liverpool I had Gerrard, Ian Rush, Robbie Fowler and John Barnes to look up to, and say "hey this is how Rushie did it, that's what I'm going to do!" Today my cousin said that our biggest disadvantage is that our family isn't loaded. That we knew that whatever we did its fine because we had something to fall back on.
I don't think I have a happy place yet. I've really being trying to find this Utopia, but I just can't. Maybe it is due to the fact that I'm struggling to find myself to realise who I am? What's my purpose? or maybe its because I'm struggling to see a point to a lot of things.
I tried this meditation thing, and like I did it in stages:
Stage 1: Pray
Stage 2: Reflect
Stage 3: Think (this takes a hell of a long time because unfortunately I tend to think about EVERY little detail)
Stage 4: Stop thinking (Yes this is a stage because it's really hard)
Stage 5: Get negativity out your body and
Stage 6: Nothing...
I found this really calming, because in the 20minutes that I did this I felt completely calm afterwards, I fell back on my pillow and had the best nights sleep I've ever had. That state of nothingness calmed me.
I've recently been watching a hell of a lot of documentaries, one of witch was this guy who for two and a half years walled along the Amazon river. He started where. The first droplets are formed on the snow capped mountains of Peru and then along the tributary. He started off with a mate and two months in this guy pulled out, it was effectively on him and his guide. For two and a half years this guy trekked stopping at villages along the way, walking through hostile drug smuggling territory. This amazed me as I thought "Shit all that time! You must come out knowing exactly who you are, this guy had an amazing amount of mental strength."
I feel that I need something like that. No distractions, no phone, no TV not anything. Dump me somewhere isolated and let me figure out this puzzle in my head that just happens to be my life. Let find importance of the little things again, instead of seeing how it fits in the big picture. I need an expedition of self discovery to find my path, because right now "Who the fuck knows?".
So in terms of finding your happy place? First you got to figure out what makes you happy, and to find that you have got to know who you are.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Make It Happen
I realised lately that the world is really quite lonley. everyone out for themselves.there are only a few good people out there, the ones that put themselves before others. self sacrifice and all that. i wont lie the thought crosses my mind everytime i pass a hobo, 'that could have been me.'
What seperates us from them, the well off to the guy on the street? you didnt choose to br living this life, born into a comfortable life. You luck God didnt make that your fate.
"Be the change yo want to see in the world"
Just waiting fir the next guy to do good wont accoumplish fokol, YOU do it, becuse for some people the world is a terrible and lonley place.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Limitless
I was fortunate to attend my best friends 18th the other day. (Whoo lucky me hey!!) Anyway what I couldn't help realise is that there are limits to everything.
So we where jamming quite hard and it was one of her favourite bands on, and I was really enjoying myself, the music and the company! So being in a residential area and having a live metal band jolling in your back yard, this will raise some eyebrows.
Long story short cops came shut it down, caused a scene, slapped a guy and I missed the whole damn thing because I decided to go chill by the fire and listen there two minutes before!!!
Why did the cops rock up? Because we where making too much noise? Or was it a possible hazard? I think it was more of the possibility of the party going on till early hours of the morning.
The possibility of it. That's what it was because it was only about 11pm when they rocked up. The possibility scared them. Possibilities scare a lot of people, the possibility of failure more than most...
With me its not the possibility of having a sleepless night but more the possibility of ending up like my father or a failure that scares the living shit out of me and it drives me to succeed. Do we all succeed because of fear? Like the Green Lantern is will power stronger than fear? Or do they work hand in hand?
There are many potential outcomes for any individual. I think its up to us to choose our own way our own path.
I read this article about how schools breed us to fit into certain categories and how they "beat out" the creativity we have as a child. They limit us to certain achievements. Only what they think is kosher.
When I see a baby I think to myself, that right there is limitless potential. He could be the next Cristiano Ronaldo, Barak Obama, Nelson Mandela... He or She could be the next amazing person to lead this world that baby can become whatever as long as it's allowed to reach their potential. Yet limitations are put in place to keep the child in line, possibly hindering the child's potential and not allowing them to be great!
Why does this happen? Because society fears greatness, they fear potential. They feel insecure when they are not in control.
Like the movie Limitless, imagine what could be achieved if you where allowed to live to your full potential.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."-Marianne Williamson
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy 18th Birthday Claire:) love you gang!
So we where jamming quite hard and it was one of her favourite bands on, and I was really enjoying myself, the music and the company! So being in a residential area and having a live metal band jolling in your back yard, this will raise some eyebrows.
Long story short cops came shut it down, caused a scene, slapped a guy and I missed the whole damn thing because I decided to go chill by the fire and listen there two minutes before!!!
Why did the cops rock up? Because we where making too much noise? Or was it a possible hazard? I think it was more of the possibility of the party going on till early hours of the morning.
The possibility of it. That's what it was because it was only about 11pm when they rocked up. The possibility scared them. Possibilities scare a lot of people, the possibility of failure more than most...
With me its not the possibility of having a sleepless night but more the possibility of ending up like my father or a failure that scares the living shit out of me and it drives me to succeed. Do we all succeed because of fear? Like the Green Lantern is will power stronger than fear? Or do they work hand in hand?
There are many potential outcomes for any individual. I think its up to us to choose our own way our own path.
I read this article about how schools breed us to fit into certain categories and how they "beat out" the creativity we have as a child. They limit us to certain achievements. Only what they think is kosher.
When I see a baby I think to myself, that right there is limitless potential. He could be the next Cristiano Ronaldo, Barak Obama, Nelson Mandela... He or She could be the next amazing person to lead this world that baby can become whatever as long as it's allowed to reach their potential. Yet limitations are put in place to keep the child in line, possibly hindering the child's potential and not allowing them to be great!
Why does this happen? Because society fears greatness, they fear potential. They feel insecure when they are not in control.
Like the movie Limitless, imagine what could be achieved if you where allowed to live to your full potential.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."-Marianne Williamson
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Happy 18th Birthday Claire:) love you gang!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
One-on-one Against Myself
I had this dream that I was driving a round with this chick who suggested that I go visit a boy that had been my friend. So we drove there and I saw his mother who the random girl who was with me sat down and started talking. The mom said to me, he is outside as usual, but they seemed to be happy and I couldn't understand why. So I walked outside and there was like one of those back yard half basketball half courts. Basically just square of cement a hoop and funny lines painted on it. From a distance this kid seemed good and when he saw me come through the sliding door a huge smile came across his face and he ran and jumped on me. He was clearly ecstatic to see me. Couldn't say I felt the same, but it wasn't like a "oh my word I don't want to be here feeling" it was although I knew already that something was wrong and I didn't know how to act..
So like all the best ice breakers in the world we played sport! A game of one-on-one basketball! We where jolling, but this kid owned me, solid dribbled me and scored from long distances. Still I wasn't surprised, then something happened. This kid was saying "Ow, ouch" every time he breathed out. It was clearly painful for him to breath! So I asked him if he wanted to continue playing (because yet again I was not shocked at his "problem") I felt bad though like really bad! Here was this little kid, brilliant at basketball even though he had the potential he would never make it to the big leagues, I cried then and there in my dream.
My sleep broke then and there I woke up to find tears streaming down my face! I didn't want to go back to sleep in fear of this kid reminding me of how lucky I am. I said a prayer thanking God for my talents and that I am able to play my sports in a perfectly healthy body.
I'm now lying in bed kind of disturbed at the events of last night. Trying to figure out what this dream meant. I came to the conclusion of two things, limitation of potential or love hurts, maybe even both.
I believe that as a baby our potential is endless but as we grow up the world and people around us start to limit this potential of our so as to meat there needs, and to make sure society functions as its supposed to. Like Professor X does to Gene Grey on X-men 3 he limits her potential in fear of what she might become! So this kids limit to his potential is that if he plays ball he will die as his respiratory system can't handle it. Yet he pushes himself. What's stopping you and me from going out there and absolutely dominating every situation and opportunity that comes our way? What's our excuse?! This kid pushes himself to the point of near death so that he can do what he loves! (Which brings me to my next point)
The fact that this kid is clearly in pain because of what he is doing is the part that disturbed me. Was it the fact that he is playing with death? Or that I actually looked up to him. I think that it was he goes through everyday with this pain just so that he can go outside and play basketball. He is willing to endure being uncomfortable if he can play, I think that when he is playing that's when he can forget about everything and just be happy in that moment and he knows that he would rather die in that moment than on a hospital bed. Ill speak for myself when I say that I do the same, when I'm on the turf nothing matters.
BUT with people, am I willing to be hurt by the thing (one) I love. No, flat out. I have an "endurance" level with people, I take your shit for a hell of a long time then I write you off but it takes a while for me to get there....
Shit.... That kid was me.
So like all the best ice breakers in the world we played sport! A game of one-on-one basketball! We where jolling, but this kid owned me, solid dribbled me and scored from long distances. Still I wasn't surprised, then something happened. This kid was saying "Ow, ouch" every time he breathed out. It was clearly painful for him to breath! So I asked him if he wanted to continue playing (because yet again I was not shocked at his "problem") I felt bad though like really bad! Here was this little kid, brilliant at basketball even though he had the potential he would never make it to the big leagues, I cried then and there in my dream.
My sleep broke then and there I woke up to find tears streaming down my face! I didn't want to go back to sleep in fear of this kid reminding me of how lucky I am. I said a prayer thanking God for my talents and that I am able to play my sports in a perfectly healthy body.
I'm now lying in bed kind of disturbed at the events of last night. Trying to figure out what this dream meant. I came to the conclusion of two things, limitation of potential or love hurts, maybe even both.
I believe that as a baby our potential is endless but as we grow up the world and people around us start to limit this potential of our so as to meat there needs, and to make sure society functions as its supposed to. Like Professor X does to Gene Grey on X-men 3 he limits her potential in fear of what she might become! So this kids limit to his potential is that if he plays ball he will die as his respiratory system can't handle it. Yet he pushes himself. What's stopping you and me from going out there and absolutely dominating every situation and opportunity that comes our way? What's our excuse?! This kid pushes himself to the point of near death so that he can do what he loves! (Which brings me to my next point)
The fact that this kid is clearly in pain because of what he is doing is the part that disturbed me. Was it the fact that he is playing with death? Or that I actually looked up to him. I think that it was he goes through everyday with this pain just so that he can go outside and play basketball. He is willing to endure being uncomfortable if he can play, I think that when he is playing that's when he can forget about everything and just be happy in that moment and he knows that he would rather die in that moment than on a hospital bed. Ill speak for myself when I say that I do the same, when I'm on the turf nothing matters.
BUT with people, am I willing to be hurt by the thing (one) I love. No, flat out. I have an "endurance" level with people, I take your shit for a hell of a long time then I write you off but it takes a while for me to get there....
Shit.... That kid was me.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Craigs Life
Just reading my own blog made me realise that a lot of what I'm saying is fuelled in anger and irritation. Yes I did create this page for me to vent but its so negative. I mean one of my last blogs ends in me calling the people concerned idiots! Time for change I rate.
The thing is that although I might have profound words and ideas when I am "emotionally unstable" I make more sense when I am calm at ease but I tend to lack inspiration.
Everything in this world is balanced, and we as human beings have to keep this. I will admit that I have not been the most balanced person. I mean I have been focusing on nothing but my hard times lately (yeah call me emo) but the truth is that I have had some really awesome times between all the crappyness of my life!
I came to the realisation of this by reading a friends Blog "Famous Last Words" and he basically uses his blog to send a message, or to figure things out, reflect on good times with his closest friends.
I may have crap circumstances, but hell I live a pretty dam good life! I have awesome friends that I can ALWAYS count on! A couple family members who actually enjoy having me around. Yeah my dad fucked off but did I really enjoy life when he was around? No.
I've seemed to forgotten about how much God actually loves us, and my rage has seemed to blind me from these constant reminders. Its time for me to get positive I rate. And yeah you might say I'm the optimist, that's only because I voice the positive side. In my head are multiple reasons that are negative.
So I will say that from now on I will be more balanced about my posts. I mean its not like I got nothing good to say! I've got stories that will make you piss yourself with laughter, and that's what I want to focus on.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I think that it is really important for us to stop focusing on the crap in our lives, and focus on the good times, the fond memories.
Just like to thank Craig Rookyard, through your blog man, you have helped me realise that life is too short to dwell on the bad times, rather focus and create good memories with good friends in the short time that we have now, whether we moving to Australia, or just living life. I wish you all the best for your future journey and I will see you again! No doubt:)
The impact you have made on my life is huge just know that and you will forever be cherished:)
So here's to the waterballons and the dead fuzzies!
Thanx bud
http://craigslifenow.blogspot.com
The thing is that although I might have profound words and ideas when I am "emotionally unstable" I make more sense when I am calm at ease but I tend to lack inspiration.
Everything in this world is balanced, and we as human beings have to keep this. I will admit that I have not been the most balanced person. I mean I have been focusing on nothing but my hard times lately (yeah call me emo) but the truth is that I have had some really awesome times between all the crappyness of my life!
I came to the realisation of this by reading a friends Blog "Famous Last Words" and he basically uses his blog to send a message, or to figure things out, reflect on good times with his closest friends.
I may have crap circumstances, but hell I live a pretty dam good life! I have awesome friends that I can ALWAYS count on! A couple family members who actually enjoy having me around. Yeah my dad fucked off but did I really enjoy life when he was around? No.
I've seemed to forgotten about how much God actually loves us, and my rage has seemed to blind me from these constant reminders. Its time for me to get positive I rate. And yeah you might say I'm the optimist, that's only because I voice the positive side. In my head are multiple reasons that are negative.
So I will say that from now on I will be more balanced about my posts. I mean its not like I got nothing good to say! I've got stories that will make you piss yourself with laughter, and that's what I want to focus on.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
I think that it is really important for us to stop focusing on the crap in our lives, and focus on the good times, the fond memories.
Just like to thank Craig Rookyard, through your blog man, you have helped me realise that life is too short to dwell on the bad times, rather focus and create good memories with good friends in the short time that we have now, whether we moving to Australia, or just living life. I wish you all the best for your future journey and I will see you again! No doubt:)
The impact you have made on my life is huge just know that and you will forever be cherished:)
So here's to the waterballons and the dead fuzzies!
Thanx bud
http://craigslifenow.blogspot.com
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Midnights Slumber
My sleep is broken by visions, images that flash by.. Are these wishes?
Or plans of what I'm going to do...
Regrets of the chances not taken, or the foresight to the future that my choices will lead me to.
I think too much, sleep too little. I wake up trying to grab objects that disappear out of my reach, past goals?
Or have I just given up?
I do not sleep nor do I wake, I do but I don't? I'm in a state of nothingness and yet I still manage to think about everything and at the same time nothing at all.
The moons rush me, for I know not what I want but I know all the ways forward, the outcomes, the sacrifices. The waves will not carry me, I seem to be swimming against them.
But, is she the one I love? Or is it just me at this time. Am I attracted to her because we are completely opposite, is it in fact that I feel I don't know the whole me and I need someone else to fill that place of unknown, making do with whatever is easier, filling that place with a piece that fits but is the wrong picture.
Everyone expects it to be us, and just for that I'll deny this to hold strong to my beliefs of finding myself by myself. I am what I am now and will not change unless it I feel it necessary. Even though what I really am is lonely in a world that you cannot survive by yourself, am I this way by choice? Yes! I am trying to prove to the world that I don't need anyone to hold my hand while it takes a piss on me!
Still I find myself escaping behind a screen replacing my insecurities with a yellow smile. For I am tired of these plans, this world and these people. I want to sleep and hide under my fortress of blankets and dream, just dream for once.
Though I do not dream for to dream you need to slumber, but I shall not slumber to spite myself, when my point is proven, my legs broken, my tears dried and my voice gone. I will not slumber till my legacy lives on through my blood. Then maybe I shall slumber on the 7th day like those before me. Rest in the land of my King, like what was promised.
Or plans of what I'm going to do...
Regrets of the chances not taken, or the foresight to the future that my choices will lead me to.
I think too much, sleep too little. I wake up trying to grab objects that disappear out of my reach, past goals?
Or have I just given up?
I do not sleep nor do I wake, I do but I don't? I'm in a state of nothingness and yet I still manage to think about everything and at the same time nothing at all.
The moons rush me, for I know not what I want but I know all the ways forward, the outcomes, the sacrifices. The waves will not carry me, I seem to be swimming against them.
But, is she the one I love? Or is it just me at this time. Am I attracted to her because we are completely opposite, is it in fact that I feel I don't know the whole me and I need someone else to fill that place of unknown, making do with whatever is easier, filling that place with a piece that fits but is the wrong picture.
Everyone expects it to be us, and just for that I'll deny this to hold strong to my beliefs of finding myself by myself. I am what I am now and will not change unless it I feel it necessary. Even though what I really am is lonely in a world that you cannot survive by yourself, am I this way by choice? Yes! I am trying to prove to the world that I don't need anyone to hold my hand while it takes a piss on me!
Still I find myself escaping behind a screen replacing my insecurities with a yellow smile. For I am tired of these plans, this world and these people. I want to sleep and hide under my fortress of blankets and dream, just dream for once.
Though I do not dream for to dream you need to slumber, but I shall not slumber to spite myself, when my point is proven, my legs broken, my tears dried and my voice gone. I will not slumber till my legacy lives on through my blood. Then maybe I shall slumber on the 7th day like those before me. Rest in the land of my King, like what was promised.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Mask
Remember that movie "The Mask"? In it the character that has the mask put it on and turns into this crazy green guy who party's up a storm literally and does a whole lot of crazy shit!
This mask can be metaphorical or like literal, your game face, halloween, tribal cultures use them to ward off spirits or enemies and people hide behind personalities. All in all hiding what you truly are to give an impression of something else.
I have a few people that have masks, or in a blunt manner, are two faced! One of whom you'll never know what stance to take because it changes from hour to hour.
I just don't understand how you could be different around certain people!? Like really! I understand that people use different jargon around different groups of people but don't be two people! What's the point? Really what if one day all your different groups are together and like you don't know who to be? What you gonna do then? If you afraid that people aren't going to accept you for who you are grow the fuck up and live with it, if your are a freak there are probably ten other freaks in your are that do the same shit as you. Stop trying to be someone else and go about being yourself because who are you kidding anyway? Not me because I get irritated at you and really want to punch you in the fucking face regardless of who you are and what gender you are, fuck ill get a girl to punch you in the face for me! Just be mature about it dammit fuck!
The other type that really gets under my skin is similar but you say and act differently around general people. If you going to swear, bitch and be a total idiot at home do it out in public too! What's the point giving a good impression to people that aren't around you all the time? Its not like they give two fucks about what you doing! Really now. Stop putting on a fucking show and be yourself, because the people you live with will know that you an absolute idiot when you go home! Now I understand that in the professional world you have to uphold a certain level of respect and stuff. Yeah that's fine, but don't say one thing and do another for fuck sakes! There is even a brotip about it! Even worse don't act like the perfect person and that you do thing to the tee when you know you are contradicting yourself in the end. Even worse don't contradict yourself then at the end try and be the person you just described yourself to be. That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen before in my entire life!
God made you you for a damn reason! Why don't you live up to it and act like you! For fuck sakes already you just make yourself look like a total idiot if you don't. Its true. I am currently witnessing it been done. Idiots.
This mask can be metaphorical or like literal, your game face, halloween, tribal cultures use them to ward off spirits or enemies and people hide behind personalities. All in all hiding what you truly are to give an impression of something else.
I have a few people that have masks, or in a blunt manner, are two faced! One of whom you'll never know what stance to take because it changes from hour to hour.
I just don't understand how you could be different around certain people!? Like really! I understand that people use different jargon around different groups of people but don't be two people! What's the point? Really what if one day all your different groups are together and like you don't know who to be? What you gonna do then? If you afraid that people aren't going to accept you for who you are grow the fuck up and live with it, if your are a freak there are probably ten other freaks in your are that do the same shit as you. Stop trying to be someone else and go about being yourself because who are you kidding anyway? Not me because I get irritated at you and really want to punch you in the fucking face regardless of who you are and what gender you are, fuck ill get a girl to punch you in the face for me! Just be mature about it dammit fuck!
The other type that really gets under my skin is similar but you say and act differently around general people. If you going to swear, bitch and be a total idiot at home do it out in public too! What's the point giving a good impression to people that aren't around you all the time? Its not like they give two fucks about what you doing! Really now. Stop putting on a fucking show and be yourself, because the people you live with will know that you an absolute idiot when you go home! Now I understand that in the professional world you have to uphold a certain level of respect and stuff. Yeah that's fine, but don't say one thing and do another for fuck sakes! There is even a brotip about it! Even worse don't act like the perfect person and that you do thing to the tee when you know you are contradicting yourself in the end. Even worse don't contradict yourself then at the end try and be the person you just described yourself to be. That is the stupidest thing I've ever seen before in my entire life!
God made you you for a damn reason! Why don't you live up to it and act like you! For fuck sakes already you just make yourself look like a total idiot if you don't. Its true. I am currently witnessing it been done. Idiots.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Blame The Caveman
The thing that seems to be getting under my skin lately is, that people are poor at communicating with each other.
They say that the internet and cell phones and all that crap have brought us closer together, or has it just given us an excuse to stay locked up in our little world using it as an excuse not to go out and meet people face to face. I laugh when I see friends out on a date and both of them are on there phones. Yeah you might be spending TIME with them but are you really, even with the person you are texting? Is it really spending time? People will argue yes but I will say NO! To me spending time with a individual is COMMUNICATING. I was always told as a child to look at people on the eye when talking to them, and I find that people do this less.
Another key part of communication is LISTENING, and I've experienced this first hand. My mother the other day said that I always let her know things at the last minute and keep on changing plans, but no its because she does not listen! She is in her own world, Facebooking, Tweeting, and BBMing, between the lot she can't find it in her to listen! So to help her out she created a communication board, where you write down the things any human being would inform their parent about, even though it does not change, Game saturday 8am to 2pm, Training Monday, Wednesday, Thursday pick me up at 7pm, Party Friday sleeping at a mate. I find this totally stupid! Its bullshit that an Executive of marketing and communication for a. NATIONAL fucking company can't listen to her own children!? So now she hardly talks to me and if she needs anything done she will bbm it to me.. Right?
Personally I blame the cavemen for this.. They are the first documented cases of recording events by painting it on walls, and retelling to the kids, stories of great hunts. Communicating, passing down knowledge, by reffering back to the wall of scribbles. Teachers do it now with chalk bored, I'm doing it now by posting, people no learn by reading words and looking diagrams, we have become independent, the world is going to end up like on that Disney Movie Wall-E. Where people are fat and can't walk and communicate via a Skype sorta thing attached to there chairs.
The thing is that we are losing what it means to be intimate, we would hide behind a screen and type than go for milkshakes and talk. But don't get me wrong, I love technology, you just have to ask yourself when was the last time you sat and had a conversation with the person you text to the most
They say that the internet and cell phones and all that crap have brought us closer together, or has it just given us an excuse to stay locked up in our little world using it as an excuse not to go out and meet people face to face. I laugh when I see friends out on a date and both of them are on there phones. Yeah you might be spending TIME with them but are you really, even with the person you are texting? Is it really spending time? People will argue yes but I will say NO! To me spending time with a individual is COMMUNICATING. I was always told as a child to look at people on the eye when talking to them, and I find that people do this less.
Another key part of communication is LISTENING, and I've experienced this first hand. My mother the other day said that I always let her know things at the last minute and keep on changing plans, but no its because she does not listen! She is in her own world, Facebooking, Tweeting, and BBMing, between the lot she can't find it in her to listen! So to help her out she created a communication board, where you write down the things any human being would inform their parent about, even though it does not change, Game saturday 8am to 2pm, Training Monday, Wednesday, Thursday pick me up at 7pm, Party Friday sleeping at a mate. I find this totally stupid! Its bullshit that an Executive of marketing and communication for a. NATIONAL fucking company can't listen to her own children!? So now she hardly talks to me and if she needs anything done she will bbm it to me.. Right?
Personally I blame the cavemen for this.. They are the first documented cases of recording events by painting it on walls, and retelling to the kids, stories of great hunts. Communicating, passing down knowledge, by reffering back to the wall of scribbles. Teachers do it now with chalk bored, I'm doing it now by posting, people no learn by reading words and looking diagrams, we have become independent, the world is going to end up like on that Disney Movie Wall-E. Where people are fat and can't walk and communicate via a Skype sorta thing attached to there chairs.
The thing is that we are losing what it means to be intimate, we would hide behind a screen and type than go for milkshakes and talk. But don't get me wrong, I love technology, you just have to ask yourself when was the last time you sat and had a conversation with the person you text to the most
Seeking Something More
" There are things you wish for before big moments. I wish my friends were here. I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy, that we weren't being stupid. Someone to say ' I'm proud of you, and I got your back... no matter what.'."
Stick it
I was watching this movie Stick It, its about a gymnast with all the natural talent in the world but she is a sort of rebel, changing from gym to gym, not because of her attitude but because people don't understand her. She then meets this coach that gets her back into it. Her parents are no where in sight when she is down in the dumps and only come into play when she is doing well.
In a way I relate to that character completely, just with different sports. My parents never pushed me to do sports, or like really supported me in it. Yeah they payed and drive me to games and practises but it all came at a price.
The other day I heard a father tell his son that he should fail matric so the he (the dad) could still watch school boy hockey. In my family, never. Everytime I get further with my sport its just more complaints.. And I know that not every family is perfect but like ya. I believe kids are meant to be selfish! I've gotten to the stage where I'd rather have my parents not watch me because I feel that they should rather be doing something els because if they do I'll hear about it, "I sat and watched you play hockey, can you not atleast do...".
The thing is they make it out like I'm forcing them to watch me. When I really just want to hear the words, "Kyle I'm proud of you" never heard them.. Not from my parents.
I scored a hat-trick on the weekend, atleast my father pretends to listen. My mother, brushes it off and gets irritated at me talking about my game. My mom the other day came and watched me play.. Took pictures of her hair blowing in the wind, with her and my bro.. Didn't even know I scored, its what bbm does to you!
"There are things you wish for before big moments."
I want to take you through this tell you what it translates to me.
" I wish my friends were here." - my friends are my family, I don't believe in that blood is thicker than water bullshit. I wish they could see me do what truly makes me happy.
"I wish my parents were different."- want them to support in with who I am and what I've become, to find an interest in what I love and just atleast pretend to want to be involved.
" I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy, that we weren't being stupid."- I find it hard to communicate with people because very few understand me, no one understands what's going on in my head.. I mean there are people that have figured me out, but yeah. I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing so how could you?
"Someone to say "I'm proud of you, and I got your back... no matter what."- the people you would think matter have never said it. Would be refreshing other than hearing how you fucking up and are a disappointment. Would be nice if those same people had my back.
And as I finish having this pity party, The whistle to start off the first half blows, and fuck it all! I love this game I play and I fucking play it for me! Its what makes me happy! Its why I get up! Its what I live for fuck the world! This is me! This defines the reason I am who I am! This is my sport! And I am one of the best! And fuck you if you don't think so!
As I slot the ball past the keeper I can only think to myself, wow I wish they where here to see that.
Stick it
I was watching this movie Stick It, its about a gymnast with all the natural talent in the world but she is a sort of rebel, changing from gym to gym, not because of her attitude but because people don't understand her. She then meets this coach that gets her back into it. Her parents are no where in sight when she is down in the dumps and only come into play when she is doing well.
In a way I relate to that character completely, just with different sports. My parents never pushed me to do sports, or like really supported me in it. Yeah they payed and drive me to games and practises but it all came at a price.
The other day I heard a father tell his son that he should fail matric so the he (the dad) could still watch school boy hockey. In my family, never. Everytime I get further with my sport its just more complaints.. And I know that not every family is perfect but like ya. I believe kids are meant to be selfish! I've gotten to the stage where I'd rather have my parents not watch me because I feel that they should rather be doing something els because if they do I'll hear about it, "I sat and watched you play hockey, can you not atleast do...".
The thing is they make it out like I'm forcing them to watch me. When I really just want to hear the words, "Kyle I'm proud of you" never heard them.. Not from my parents.
I scored a hat-trick on the weekend, atleast my father pretends to listen. My mother, brushes it off and gets irritated at me talking about my game. My mom the other day came and watched me play.. Took pictures of her hair blowing in the wind, with her and my bro.. Didn't even know I scored, its what bbm does to you!
"There are things you wish for before big moments."
I want to take you through this tell you what it translates to me.
" I wish my friends were here." - my friends are my family, I don't believe in that blood is thicker than water bullshit. I wish they could see me do what truly makes me happy.
"I wish my parents were different."- want them to support in with who I am and what I've become, to find an interest in what I love and just atleast pretend to want to be involved.
" I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy, that we weren't being stupid."- I find it hard to communicate with people because very few understand me, no one understands what's going on in my head.. I mean there are people that have figured me out, but yeah. I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing so how could you?
"Someone to say "I'm proud of you, and I got your back... no matter what."- the people you would think matter have never said it. Would be refreshing other than hearing how you fucking up and are a disappointment. Would be nice if those same people had my back.
And as I finish having this pity party, The whistle to start off the first half blows, and fuck it all! I love this game I play and I fucking play it for me! Its what makes me happy! Its why I get up! Its what I live for fuck the world! This is me! This defines the reason I am who I am! This is my sport! And I am one of the best! And fuck you if you don't think so!
As I slot the ball past the keeper I can only think to myself, wow I wish they where here to see that.
3
What is this, that 7 is the lucky number? Since when? I've been thinking that 3 has to be! Who wouldn't want 3?
3rd time is the charm, 3rd time lucky. 3 strikes your out, 3 goals and you good, 3 substitutes in a soccer game,3 is a crowd, three three three! I realised this tonight when I thought of a comment someone made "between school, sport and church you have no time" which is true.. My favourite chapter in the Bible, Corinthians 13.. Ends off with 3 basic principals.. Faith hope and love..
To me those are the 3 most important things in my life, which consists of sport, school, and church..
FAITH- church, I will do anything and everything for my God.
Hope- school, the foundation for the future I hope to have.
Love- my sport.
I guess you can tie those 3 elements into all 3 aspects of my life, but you see that's just it. The way I look at things at this moment in time are through those 3 elements, Faith, Hope and Love. I believe that those 3 mold things as it is really the foundation of any faith, religion and culture.
The passage then goes on to say "and most important of these is love" which is hard to argue with, because that's who we are, beings that love. Its what drives us. It is us.
So in a world where maths is the be all and end all of everything, the only number we really need is 3, because if you can't define who you are in 3 words, you either lying or don't know who you are!
3rd time is the charm, 3rd time lucky. 3 strikes your out, 3 goals and you good, 3 substitutes in a soccer game,3 is a crowd, three three three! I realised this tonight when I thought of a comment someone made "between school, sport and church you have no time" which is true.. My favourite chapter in the Bible, Corinthians 13.. Ends off with 3 basic principals.. Faith hope and love..
To me those are the 3 most important things in my life, which consists of sport, school, and church..
FAITH- church, I will do anything and everything for my God.
Hope- school, the foundation for the future I hope to have.
Love- my sport.
I guess you can tie those 3 elements into all 3 aspects of my life, but you see that's just it. The way I look at things at this moment in time are through those 3 elements, Faith, Hope and Love. I believe that those 3 mold things as it is really the foundation of any faith, religion and culture.
The passage then goes on to say "and most important of these is love" which is hard to argue with, because that's who we are, beings that love. Its what drives us. It is us.
So in a world where maths is the be all and end all of everything, the only number we really need is 3, because if you can't define who you are in 3 words, you either lying or don't know who you are!
It is what It is
Arrogance
[ar-uh-guh ns]
–n.
1. offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
This has been a word that has been used quite a lot lately to describe me. It seems to be popping up everywhere and by every Tom, Dick and Harry. "Aww Kyle you so arrogant" "Your Facebook status are so arrogant" "the way you talk is so arrogant" next thing you know it would be arrogant for me to take a shit!! I mean for fuck sakes! I don't want to lick my own ass but yeah I know I can be a dick at times, I know that I can be cocky, I am confident yes! But that is NOT arrogance!
People find it hard to distinguish the line between arrogance and confidence. I won't lie it is damn hard, but then you have to look at the person and who they are. This is where it tells you what their intentions are.
There are times when I'm arrogant but that's when you question me, when you second guess my ability, when you bring me down so low that I have nothing else, then I hit people with this famous line of mine "I'm not the best, but I sure as hell am one of them!" And even that isn't arrogant! I mean an arrogant statement similar to that is "I am the best so fuck the hell off, who the fuck do you think you are questioning me!".
The sad thing is that a lot of girls that like a confident guys fall for the arrogant one because they are blind to see, or know exactly what arrogance is... Then that forces the good guys to be arrogant, but really if you think about it.. Its bullshit the chick is probably a bitch and the village bicycle.
The thing is that in my case I think people are trying to find an excuse to pull down to what they think my size should be. To try and say hey? What the fuck are you doing there come back down. You are not ready for that that is above your maturity level. One question who the fuck are you to tell me what my maturity level is! You not in my head! To me that's the worst thing you can do to me is call me arrogant, because every bone in my body tries not to be, when I was small I used to get hit for showing off and being arrogant. Why would I do it now? Yeah I am quite good at the things I do, yeah you can see me going further than you ever dreamed, so why tell me I'm arrogant? To limit my potential? Put me back in place? No, its to put me in a category according to what you think a boy of my age should be saying and doing or its because you can see so much potential in me that you don't know what I am that you are seeing me grow but still think I'm 12 that I am accomplishing shit and letting the world know they next and you not having the vocab to describe this.? Pick one its your choice.
We need to start seeing ourselves for who we are and not what people perceive us to be. We need to be comfortable with ourselves and not let peoples complaints and comments push us into a place where we don't want to be. You and God are the only people that know who YOU are.
[ar-uh-guh ns]
–n.
1. offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.
This has been a word that has been used quite a lot lately to describe me. It seems to be popping up everywhere and by every Tom, Dick and Harry. "Aww Kyle you so arrogant" "Your Facebook status are so arrogant" "the way you talk is so arrogant" next thing you know it would be arrogant for me to take a shit!! I mean for fuck sakes! I don't want to lick my own ass but yeah I know I can be a dick at times, I know that I can be cocky, I am confident yes! But that is NOT arrogance!
People find it hard to distinguish the line between arrogance and confidence. I won't lie it is damn hard, but then you have to look at the person and who they are. This is where it tells you what their intentions are.
There are times when I'm arrogant but that's when you question me, when you second guess my ability, when you bring me down so low that I have nothing else, then I hit people with this famous line of mine "I'm not the best, but I sure as hell am one of them!" And even that isn't arrogant! I mean an arrogant statement similar to that is "I am the best so fuck the hell off, who the fuck do you think you are questioning me!".
The sad thing is that a lot of girls that like a confident guys fall for the arrogant one because they are blind to see, or know exactly what arrogance is... Then that forces the good guys to be arrogant, but really if you think about it.. Its bullshit the chick is probably a bitch and the village bicycle.
The thing is that in my case I think people are trying to find an excuse to pull down to what they think my size should be. To try and say hey? What the fuck are you doing there come back down. You are not ready for that that is above your maturity level. One question who the fuck are you to tell me what my maturity level is! You not in my head! To me that's the worst thing you can do to me is call me arrogant, because every bone in my body tries not to be, when I was small I used to get hit for showing off and being arrogant. Why would I do it now? Yeah I am quite good at the things I do, yeah you can see me going further than you ever dreamed, so why tell me I'm arrogant? To limit my potential? Put me back in place? No, its to put me in a category according to what you think a boy of my age should be saying and doing or its because you can see so much potential in me that you don't know what I am that you are seeing me grow but still think I'm 12 that I am accomplishing shit and letting the world know they next and you not having the vocab to describe this.? Pick one its your choice.
We need to start seeing ourselves for who we are and not what people perceive us to be. We need to be comfortable with ourselves and not let peoples complaints and comments push us into a place where we don't want to be. You and God are the only people that know who YOU are.
"WELCOME TO THE FUTURE IM THE CAPTAIN OF THE COOL KIDS"[1]
They say that when God hears your plans for your future he laughs..
Its crazy at this time of my life how much I am responsible for my future, in terms of varsity and everything. I also seem to be thinking about my far future like in the next 15 years. Married to a beautiful wife, two possibly 3 boys driving them to there soccer, cricket, rugby, hockey, whatever.. And watching them play. The other day I was also thinking about the colour scheme of my wedding? Like seriously, all this is really scaring me. Time is really not slowing down for anyone, the other day I was sitting in the stands, watching the 1sts and 2nd teams ripping shit up on the astro and rugby field.. Now I'm one of those guys on the astro..
Now when it gets confusing is that you see things everywhere that contradict each other. "Live in the Now", " 'Hakuna Matata'-dont live in the past"[2] and yet everything in our society today points to looking to the future. We told not to do any of it.. Its so confusing.
So what should we do? Strike a balance? Well yes, but then we won't ever be living for 'this' moment, we will always have in the back of our mind that our actions of today will affect what happens tomorrow.
"God knows the beginning and the end, the stuff in the middle is up to you." Think about that.. Its already written where we gonna end up. So why bother? Good question that? But If that's your attitude you probably going to be another guy at some traffic light with a bored asking for money. The thing is that we have to try live as the best version of ourselves, because I personally think that God has many possible endings for us, and our actions determine where we finish off. I'm sure that's why he gave us the gift of Free Will..
"Life is a journey, not so much to a destination but a transformation"
I heard this at youth the other night. I found this really relevant in my life right now as I'm on and off about finding out where I want to go, and the type of person I want to be. I don't know who I really am now, yes I have a personality but if you had to ask me to describe myself the only thing I would be able to say is that I love sport and I love God. I always thought that its so important where you end up the end product, but I had forgotten about wondering about the person you become in the process. Its all good and well if you rich and have a family but if your a dick your a dick.
Yes you can argue the fact that your destination determines who you are, but what happens first? You find your destination, or find out who you are? Sometimes you have to ask yourself are you the person or the position.
The truth is you have to find a balance between your past, present and future... Its hard, yeah agree, but your mistakes also make you who you are. So learn from the mistakes look to the future and live in the present.
[1] Hello Goodmorning- TI ft Diddy
[2]Timone-Lion King
Its crazy at this time of my life how much I am responsible for my future, in terms of varsity and everything. I also seem to be thinking about my far future like in the next 15 years. Married to a beautiful wife, two possibly 3 boys driving them to there soccer, cricket, rugby, hockey, whatever.. And watching them play. The other day I was also thinking about the colour scheme of my wedding? Like seriously, all this is really scaring me. Time is really not slowing down for anyone, the other day I was sitting in the stands, watching the 1sts and 2nd teams ripping shit up on the astro and rugby field.. Now I'm one of those guys on the astro..
Now when it gets confusing is that you see things everywhere that contradict each other. "Live in the Now", " 'Hakuna Matata'-dont live in the past"[2] and yet everything in our society today points to looking to the future. We told not to do any of it.. Its so confusing.
So what should we do? Strike a balance? Well yes, but then we won't ever be living for 'this' moment, we will always have in the back of our mind that our actions of today will affect what happens tomorrow.
"God knows the beginning and the end, the stuff in the middle is up to you." Think about that.. Its already written where we gonna end up. So why bother? Good question that? But If that's your attitude you probably going to be another guy at some traffic light with a bored asking for money. The thing is that we have to try live as the best version of ourselves, because I personally think that God has many possible endings for us, and our actions determine where we finish off. I'm sure that's why he gave us the gift of Free Will..
"Life is a journey, not so much to a destination but a transformation"
I heard this at youth the other night. I found this really relevant in my life right now as I'm on and off about finding out where I want to go, and the type of person I want to be. I don't know who I really am now, yes I have a personality but if you had to ask me to describe myself the only thing I would be able to say is that I love sport and I love God. I always thought that its so important where you end up the end product, but I had forgotten about wondering about the person you become in the process. Its all good and well if you rich and have a family but if your a dick your a dick.
Yes you can argue the fact that your destination determines who you are, but what happens first? You find your destination, or find out who you are? Sometimes you have to ask yourself are you the person or the position.
The truth is you have to find a balance between your past, present and future... Its hard, yeah agree, but your mistakes also make you who you are. So learn from the mistakes look to the future and live in the present.
[1] Hello Goodmorning- TI ft Diddy
[2]Timone-Lion King
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