" There are things you wish for before big moments. I wish my friends were here. I wish my parents were different. I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy, that we weren't being stupid. Someone to say ' I'm proud of you, and I got your back... no matter what.'."
Stick it
I was watching this movie Stick It, its about a gymnast with all the natural talent in the world but she is a sort of rebel, changing from gym to gym, not because of her attitude but because people don't understand her. She then meets this coach that gets her back into it. Her parents are no where in sight when she is down in the dumps and only come into play when she is doing well.
In a way I relate to that character completely, just with different sports. My parents never pushed me to do sports, or like really supported me in it. Yeah they payed and drive me to games and practises but it all came at a price.
The other day I heard a father tell his son that he should fail matric so the he (the dad) could still watch school boy hockey. In my family, never. Everytime I get further with my sport its just more complaints.. And I know that not every family is perfect but like ya. I believe kids are meant to be selfish! I've gotten to the stage where I'd rather have my parents not watch me because I feel that they should rather be doing something els because if they do I'll hear about it, "I sat and watched you play hockey, can you not atleast do...".
The thing is they make it out like I'm forcing them to watch me. When I really just want to hear the words, "Kyle I'm proud of you" never heard them.. Not from my parents.
I scored a hat-trick on the weekend, atleast my father pretends to listen. My mother, brushes it off and gets irritated at me talking about my game. My mom the other day came and watched me play.. Took pictures of her hair blowing in the wind, with her and my bro.. Didn't even know I scored, its what bbm does to you!
"There are things you wish for before big moments."
I want to take you through this tell you what it translates to me.
" I wish my friends were here." - my friends are my family, I don't believe in that blood is thicker than water bullshit. I wish they could see me do what truly makes me happy.
"I wish my parents were different."- want them to support in with who I am and what I've become, to find an interest in what I love and just atleast pretend to want to be involved.
" I wish there was someone who got what was happening, and could just look at me and tell me we weren't crazy, that we weren't being stupid."- I find it hard to communicate with people because very few understand me, no one understands what's going on in my head.. I mean there are people that have figured me out, but yeah. I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing so how could you?
"Someone to say "I'm proud of you, and I got your back... no matter what."- the people you would think matter have never said it. Would be refreshing other than hearing how you fucking up and are a disappointment. Would be nice if those same people had my back.
And as I finish having this pity party, The whistle to start off the first half blows, and fuck it all! I love this game I play and I fucking play it for me! Its what makes me happy! Its why I get up! Its what I live for fuck the world! This is me! This defines the reason I am who I am! This is my sport! And I am one of the best! And fuck you if you don't think so!
As I slot the ball past the keeper I can only think to myself, wow I wish they where here to see that.
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