I had this dream that I was driving a round with this chick who suggested that I go visit a boy that had been my friend. So we drove there and I saw his mother who the random girl who was with me sat down and started talking. The mom said to me, he is outside as usual, but they seemed to be happy and I couldn't understand why. So I walked outside and there was like one of those back yard half basketball half courts. Basically just square of cement a hoop and funny lines painted on it. From a distance this kid seemed good and when he saw me come through the sliding door a huge smile came across his face and he ran and jumped on me. He was clearly ecstatic to see me. Couldn't say I felt the same, but it wasn't like a "oh my word I don't want to be here feeling" it was although I knew already that something was wrong and I didn't know how to act..
So like all the best ice breakers in the world we played sport! A game of one-on-one basketball! We where jolling, but this kid owned me, solid dribbled me and scored from long distances. Still I wasn't surprised, then something happened. This kid was saying "Ow, ouch" every time he breathed out. It was clearly painful for him to breath! So I asked him if he wanted to continue playing (because yet again I was not shocked at his "problem") I felt bad though like really bad! Here was this little kid, brilliant at basketball even though he had the potential he would never make it to the big leagues, I cried then and there in my dream.
My sleep broke then and there I woke up to find tears streaming down my face! I didn't want to go back to sleep in fear of this kid reminding me of how lucky I am. I said a prayer thanking God for my talents and that I am able to play my sports in a perfectly healthy body.
I'm now lying in bed kind of disturbed at the events of last night. Trying to figure out what this dream meant. I came to the conclusion of two things, limitation of potential or love hurts, maybe even both.
I believe that as a baby our potential is endless but as we grow up the world and people around us start to limit this potential of our so as to meat there needs, and to make sure society functions as its supposed to. Like Professor X does to Gene Grey on X-men 3 he limits her potential in fear of what she might become! So this kids limit to his potential is that if he plays ball he will die as his respiratory system can't handle it. Yet he pushes himself. What's stopping you and me from going out there and absolutely dominating every situation and opportunity that comes our way? What's our excuse?! This kid pushes himself to the point of near death so that he can do what he loves! (Which brings me to my next point)
The fact that this kid is clearly in pain because of what he is doing is the part that disturbed me. Was it the fact that he is playing with death? Or that I actually looked up to him. I think that it was he goes through everyday with this pain just so that he can go outside and play basketball. He is willing to endure being uncomfortable if he can play, I think that when he is playing that's when he can forget about everything and just be happy in that moment and he knows that he would rather die in that moment than on a hospital bed. Ill speak for myself when I say that I do the same, when I'm on the turf nothing matters.
BUT with people, am I willing to be hurt by the thing (one) I love. No, flat out. I have an "endurance" level with people, I take your shit for a hell of a long time then I write you off but it takes a while for me to get there....
Shit.... That kid was me.
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