I bummed a lift to Melrose Arch the other day,it was with a colleague of my moms. His name was Guy. I kid you not! Apart from his weird name, Guy, he had a weird demeanor about him. Putting that aside I hopped into his green car eager to get going to my job shadowing.
On entering his car I noticed he had a small metal figure sitting on his dash bored. This metal sculpture was of a man sitting with his head resting in his right hand while his elbow rested on his thigh. I thought it was a really cool figure thing. Seemed like an interesting conversation piece.
After about 5 minutes of thinking about this figure, thinking of what was this little sculptures story. It must be a representation of the artist, maybe he was depressed? Maybe he regretted doing something? Maybe he had seen someone sitting in that position? If so what was that guys story? So I told Guy that his little metal man was really cool and he said "I call him my Babalas Enoch." (Babalas- South African term for Hangover, Enoch- I don't know..)
This hit me by surprise and I was a tad taken aback by Guys comment, here I'm thinking that this little man has something wrong, for all we know he could be crying and Guy sees it as a babalas person? This got me thinking.
We see things and intemperate things so differently depending on where our head is at the moment. This little man to me was holding his head because his thoughts where too heavy for his neck to support and Guy is like yeah he is hungover.
I think that this is really beautiful, because each and everyone of us see something in something. Get what I'm saying? Like when a psychologist tells you to look at a blob of paint on a paper, and you have to tell them what comes to mind. Like when you look at someone you are in love with, you can't see their faults. you see them, you see beauty. While your best friends sees absolutely nothing.
So I believe there is no such thing as a beautiful, or ugly person. Its just an interpretation of where your head is at. As for the Babalas Enoch, to me he will be the heavy thinker.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Little House On The Hills
So this weekend is my grans brothers 50th wedding anniversary and we where invited. Its down in Petermaritzburg so the long journey awaited..
A lot of South Africans complain about our country and I know this might sound like a cliche but have we ever noticed how beautiful this country truly is? We are so blinded by our problems that we fail to see the brilliance God has blessed us with. Our natural beauty rivals many others.
I've often driven to Durban from Johannesburg, on the N3 South, as many of us do, and I always stare out the window as we drive past the cars, aimlessly in thought. One thing that is noticeable are the farms and an about two hours outside Johannesburg, the landscape, that consists of random mountains and open savanna. Absolutely stunning. This is just looking out the window, and when shades of brown from the savanna start turning to the greens of the midland, you know your about 2 hours from your destination. Another city. More roads, tall buildings, cars, and masses of people. What's to get excited for? Oh yeah, the beach, if you can hustle a good spot, but there is still so much noise. I can't believe I got excited for that! If it where just the breeze and crashing waves yeah it would be sweet, but is it ever?
We booked into this place near Mooiriver. It is absolutely beautiful. Its very simple, a gravel road, a small one bedroom house, a couple of trout dams, a small makeshift mushy golf course and horses. Its as if someone found this little spot, between the hills and was like" hey, let's put up a couple little houses and let it be.."
Well the point of this all is to say that we so often get caught up in the hype, negativity and just things in general, that we often forget about little places like this, where it doesn't seem like anything has happened, no politics, no crime and no negativity. This little place seems untouched, compared to Johannesburg where with each new day brings a new road.
Honestly, let's admit that the little most of us have seen of this country, we can say its a thing of beauty. God has truly blessed us abundantly. Desmond Tutu is onto something. He knows, he has seen and he marvels at the greatness, the marvelous, out amazing God. So what are we doing complaining about small things? Why do we complain? There is no place on Earth that is perfect, but I'll tell you this! South Africa comes pretty damn close to perfect! Please don't come and moan about our economy, and petty things. If you not willing to get off your ass and try make this beautiful land better then don't talk.
There is no signal here, so no contact from the outside world till we go into the city tomorrow night for the reunion, and to be honest, there is only one person I think I'll miss. I think. It will also give me time away to think. Away from technology and other influences. I say this and I'm typing this out.. Who knows what this beautiful, peaceful place will bring me? Will it bring me the clarity I've been seeking? I don't know, but for now I'll look ahead and see rolling green hills and a couple of farms. All ill hear are the birds, horses and wind.
"Free the animals"- Dave Van Vuuren. No mate you got it wrong, we are the caged animals, we need to free ourselves.
A lot of South Africans complain about our country and I know this might sound like a cliche but have we ever noticed how beautiful this country truly is? We are so blinded by our problems that we fail to see the brilliance God has blessed us with. Our natural beauty rivals many others.
I've often driven to Durban from Johannesburg, on the N3 South, as many of us do, and I always stare out the window as we drive past the cars, aimlessly in thought. One thing that is noticeable are the farms and an about two hours outside Johannesburg, the landscape, that consists of random mountains and open savanna. Absolutely stunning. This is just looking out the window, and when shades of brown from the savanna start turning to the greens of the midland, you know your about 2 hours from your destination. Another city. More roads, tall buildings, cars, and masses of people. What's to get excited for? Oh yeah, the beach, if you can hustle a good spot, but there is still so much noise. I can't believe I got excited for that! If it where just the breeze and crashing waves yeah it would be sweet, but is it ever?
We booked into this place near Mooiriver. It is absolutely beautiful. Its very simple, a gravel road, a small one bedroom house, a couple of trout dams, a small makeshift mushy golf course and horses. Its as if someone found this little spot, between the hills and was like" hey, let's put up a couple little houses and let it be.."
Well the point of this all is to say that we so often get caught up in the hype, negativity and just things in general, that we often forget about little places like this, where it doesn't seem like anything has happened, no politics, no crime and no negativity. This little place seems untouched, compared to Johannesburg where with each new day brings a new road.
Honestly, let's admit that the little most of us have seen of this country, we can say its a thing of beauty. God has truly blessed us abundantly. Desmond Tutu is onto something. He knows, he has seen and he marvels at the greatness, the marvelous, out amazing God. So what are we doing complaining about small things? Why do we complain? There is no place on Earth that is perfect, but I'll tell you this! South Africa comes pretty damn close to perfect! Please don't come and moan about our economy, and petty things. If you not willing to get off your ass and try make this beautiful land better then don't talk.
There is no signal here, so no contact from the outside world till we go into the city tomorrow night for the reunion, and to be honest, there is only one person I think I'll miss. I think. It will also give me time away to think. Away from technology and other influences. I say this and I'm typing this out.. Who knows what this beautiful, peaceful place will bring me? Will it bring me the clarity I've been seeking? I don't know, but for now I'll look ahead and see rolling green hills and a couple of farms. All ill hear are the birds, horses and wind.
"Free the animals"- Dave Van Vuuren. No mate you got it wrong, we are the caged animals, we need to free ourselves.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Women!!!!
The amount of times I've said that the person that writes a book on how a woman work will make millions, billions even! He or she would be the next Nobel Peace Prize winner, for their contribution to humanity!
So, this is not my shot at winning the Nobel Peace Prize, because you'd end up getting some women rights activist knocking at my door at some random hour in the morning, ready to chop my balls off because how dare I stereotype a female?! The funny thing is that its true, you know that it will probably happen. Women are like that. Whatever they supposed to be, they just can't settle.
Ok this is going to sound really sexist but women always got this point to prove, that they can compete with men, that they can stay equal. Why? What's there to prove? The thing is that we just let you'll think that, I mean let's be real the whole thing about "a women's place is in the kitchen" bullshit, let's get real. The best chefs in the world are men. We just let you'll think that you'll own us at something, but really no.
Ever gone shopping with a woman? Seriously, how long does it take to pick out clothes? Its the most frustrating thing in the world! They spend hours on end trying to find the perfect look, then return it after they get home because they have changed their minds. And their votes count? They can't decide on a pair of shoes, how the fuck are they supposed to choose a president?!
Ok let's get serious now, a women place in the world is a vital one, to humanity as a whole. Like let's be honest life would be a solid joll if it where us guys chilling around a braai, with a beer watching the Football on a Saturday afternoon. And then what?
The truth is that men cannot function without a woman by their side. "Behind every good man is a great woman" - (can't remember who said that) I mean while I may rant about how long it takes a woman to shop, I wouldn't be able to shop for my self, clothes would consist of gym shorts and a t shirt groceries would be chips, chocolate, tuna, mayo and two minute noodles.
The heart of a woman is something else aswel, its so pure, so soft so loving. The endless amount of love and affection a woman has for things around them is beautiful. As long as us men live we will not be able to function without the influence for a woman.
Guys the truth is that women are really complicated beings, and that's why no one has figured them out. Because firstly if they did that book would be too thick for someone to consider even reading, and that each person is different. While us men are simple beings (yes its true), women aren't they function in different ways. They have got to feel challenged by you, at the same time feel small and safe in your arms.
We as men are indebted to women, first of all our mothers second of all they give up their life to be apart of yours. Isn't that amazing? Women are not equal to us, its true, they are way more superior, they are complex. We men have just got the fact that we better at sports, physical things. We are arguing that we are more Neanderthal like then them? Really.
Women deserve more than what we are actually giving them credit for. Although it wasn't a women that came up with the theory of E=mc2, it was a woman who carried that child for 9 months.
I think I've figured out the obsession of women for that Edward Cullen vampire guy. Its not that he is a blood sucking funny looking parasite, but that he is old school, he is a proper gentleman. We might see it as corny but hey if girls like it then why not?
So guys, let's stop this neanderthal idea that woman are there for a place to stick your dick, and let's be chivalrous. Let's give women the best MEN that we can be, not the douches that we believe we should be. "Having a dick makes you male, not a man"- brotip #836
And for the ladies, I believe that the prettiest a woman looks is when she doesn't try. Keep it simple. Natural beauty is best. "Girls shouldn't be finding the one guy that they can lose their virginity to, they should be looking for the one that will help them keep it" - unknown.
So, this is not my shot at winning the Nobel Peace Prize, because you'd end up getting some women rights activist knocking at my door at some random hour in the morning, ready to chop my balls off because how dare I stereotype a female?! The funny thing is that its true, you know that it will probably happen. Women are like that. Whatever they supposed to be, they just can't settle.
Ok this is going to sound really sexist but women always got this point to prove, that they can compete with men, that they can stay equal. Why? What's there to prove? The thing is that we just let you'll think that, I mean let's be real the whole thing about "a women's place is in the kitchen" bullshit, let's get real. The best chefs in the world are men. We just let you'll think that you'll own us at something, but really no.
Ever gone shopping with a woman? Seriously, how long does it take to pick out clothes? Its the most frustrating thing in the world! They spend hours on end trying to find the perfect look, then return it after they get home because they have changed their minds. And their votes count? They can't decide on a pair of shoes, how the fuck are they supposed to choose a president?!
Ok let's get serious now, a women place in the world is a vital one, to humanity as a whole. Like let's be honest life would be a solid joll if it where us guys chilling around a braai, with a beer watching the Football on a Saturday afternoon. And then what?
The truth is that men cannot function without a woman by their side. "Behind every good man is a great woman" - (can't remember who said that) I mean while I may rant about how long it takes a woman to shop, I wouldn't be able to shop for my self, clothes would consist of gym shorts and a t shirt groceries would be chips, chocolate, tuna, mayo and two minute noodles.
The heart of a woman is something else aswel, its so pure, so soft so loving. The endless amount of love and affection a woman has for things around them is beautiful. As long as us men live we will not be able to function without the influence for a woman.
Guys the truth is that women are really complicated beings, and that's why no one has figured them out. Because firstly if they did that book would be too thick for someone to consider even reading, and that each person is different. While us men are simple beings (yes its true), women aren't they function in different ways. They have got to feel challenged by you, at the same time feel small and safe in your arms.
We as men are indebted to women, first of all our mothers second of all they give up their life to be apart of yours. Isn't that amazing? Women are not equal to us, its true, they are way more superior, they are complex. We men have just got the fact that we better at sports, physical things. We are arguing that we are more Neanderthal like then them? Really.
Women deserve more than what we are actually giving them credit for. Although it wasn't a women that came up with the theory of E=mc2, it was a woman who carried that child for 9 months.
I think I've figured out the obsession of women for that Edward Cullen vampire guy. Its not that he is a blood sucking funny looking parasite, but that he is old school, he is a proper gentleman. We might see it as corny but hey if girls like it then why not?
So guys, let's stop this neanderthal idea that woman are there for a place to stick your dick, and let's be chivalrous. Let's give women the best MEN that we can be, not the douches that we believe we should be. "Having a dick makes you male, not a man"- brotip #836
And for the ladies, I believe that the prettiest a woman looks is when she doesn't try. Keep it simple. Natural beauty is best. "Girls shouldn't be finding the one guy that they can lose their virginity to, they should be looking for the one that will help them keep it" - unknown.
Friday, October 14, 2011
The Magic Box
So the invention of the television is no doubt one of the greatest. Eliminating boredom and bringing life to the everyday house hold. It is also a way to relay information to the mass public. Improvements on this front have been vast and far between! We can now watch live events from the other side of the world, that looks better than real life!
Apart from watching the Rugby, TV also provided us with a tool for procrastination and a new form of Drama, called acting! This was kind of improved upon the stage acting. In turn this acting introduced us to series, movies and cartoons, but what seems to be the most popular is Reality Television...
On DSTV there is a whole channel that is basically all about reality TV. What is this reality television I speak of. Its basically a person or a group of people being followed around by a camera crew as they live out their everyday life. What intrigues me the most, is that the people that are being followed are the rich and famous.
What is it that so intrigues us about the rich and famous that we would spend countless hours in front of the television to watch other people live out their lives in their perfect world? That's just it? I think you could watch their lives to know that they aren't perfect, or you could be watching aspiring to be like them. I think that we are just so drawn to an Utopia that we think exists.
We want to have a peep into another world different to ours, a world we all wish to have. We watch people we wish to look like and be like. Oh and that stupid shit that's on MTV.. We like to laugh at the stupidity at people, we want to feel superior. as for the teenage pregnancy crap, "Who the eff knows!?".
What really baffles me about this new aged reality television thing is why people watch it?
Firstly, there are like 100 other better things on TV, check the Discovery Channel or National Geographic, maybe you'll learn something worth while?
Secondly, your wasting your life away on the couch watching someone els live theirs? See the irony?! Go live your life!
And thirdly, these people are earning money by living their own lives and being the people that they are! Take the hint. So be yourself, you never know you might get a reality TV series of your own!
Apart from watching the Rugby, TV also provided us with a tool for procrastination and a new form of Drama, called acting! This was kind of improved upon the stage acting. In turn this acting introduced us to series, movies and cartoons, but what seems to be the most popular is Reality Television...
On DSTV there is a whole channel that is basically all about reality TV. What is this reality television I speak of. Its basically a person or a group of people being followed around by a camera crew as they live out their everyday life. What intrigues me the most, is that the people that are being followed are the rich and famous.
We want to have a peep into another world different to ours, a world we all wish to have. We watch people we wish to look like and be like. Oh and that stupid shit that's on MTV.. We like to laugh at the stupidity at people, we want to feel superior. as for the teenage pregnancy crap, "Who the eff knows!?".
What really baffles me about this new aged reality television thing is why people watch it?
Firstly, there are like 100 other better things on TV, check the Discovery Channel or National Geographic, maybe you'll learn something worth while?
Secondly, your wasting your life away on the couch watching someone els live theirs? See the irony?! Go live your life!
And thirdly, these people are earning money by living their own lives and being the people that they are! Take the hint. So be yourself, you never know you might get a reality TV series of your own!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Psychology Isle
I was in the book store, believe it or not and I was just taking a look at the reading trends.
Looking through the shelves I noticed that in the teen section things are still all about vampire romance, I saw a hole lot of diaries for 2012 and decided to go visit the Psychology section. Thinking that it would have books on how the mind functions and how to control thought and thought processes. Things like that. To my surprise and disappointment I noticed all these self development books, the common trend here was "Success". The common trend among us all is success.
Again I noticed that all the books where focused on making money. I had a little chuckle at myself. A brotip came to mind "#1144 money can't buy happiness, it can buy music. Close enough.". Bam it hit me. People are fooled by the money = success idea. It kind of does though.
I went out and asked a few of my contacts on B.B.M. what success means and almost every answer came back with the idea of being financially stable. Having that job, living a comfortable lifestyle. Also having a family came up often, but is it possible with out money? Yes it is. Will you be contempt raising a family on a low salary? Probably not. No happiness = no success!
So with out this stable financial environment, we are unable to be completely successful? You could compare it to soccer, possession- successful, attempts at goal- unsuccessful. Did they win the game? Probably not. Unsuccessful fixture. Get where I'm at?
So what I am saying is that no matter where your morals lie, no matter how many times we deny the fact that money rules our life. We are all driven by this instinctive need to be successful, to live in a perfect comfortable environment. Which can only be made possible by money. So believe it or not, money actually has us by the balls! How much it actually controls your success is then determined by your view of success, living the humble or material life.
So everything we are doing right now is to have money, so that our life can function. Believe it or not!
The end of the day success is pretty different to all of us, but the common theme is that we want to live comfortably and have a family. We want to support ourselves with out having the issue of worrying about not having money.
So in actual fact money might not be able to buy happiness, but it does play a key role in being happy! Who would have known?
••••••••
Success for me is having a wife and kids living comfortably, within our means. Not to have stress with financial problems. And watching my kids grow up on the Christian path. If I achieve that. I will be successful.
Thanx to the people that answered my questions!
Looking through the shelves I noticed that in the teen section things are still all about vampire romance, I saw a hole lot of diaries for 2012 and decided to go visit the Psychology section. Thinking that it would have books on how the mind functions and how to control thought and thought processes. Things like that. To my surprise and disappointment I noticed all these self development books, the common trend here was "Success". The common trend among us all is success.
I went out and asked a few of my contacts on B.B.M. what success means and almost every answer came back with the idea of being financially stable. Having that job, living a comfortable lifestyle. Also having a family came up often, but is it possible with out money? Yes it is. Will you be contempt raising a family on a low salary? Probably not. No happiness = no success!
So with out this stable financial environment, we are unable to be completely successful? You could compare it to soccer, possession- successful, attempts at goal- unsuccessful. Did they win the game? Probably not. Unsuccessful fixture. Get where I'm at?
So what I am saying is that no matter where your morals lie, no matter how many times we deny the fact that money rules our life. We are all driven by this instinctive need to be successful, to live in a perfect comfortable environment. Which can only be made possible by money. So believe it or not, money actually has us by the balls! How much it actually controls your success is then determined by your view of success, living the humble or material life.
So everything we are doing right now is to have money, so that our life can function. Believe it or not!
The end of the day success is pretty different to all of us, but the common theme is that we want to live comfortably and have a family. We want to support ourselves with out having the issue of worrying about not having money.
So in actual fact money might not be able to buy happiness, but it does play a key role in being happy! Who would have known?
••••••••
Success for me is having a wife and kids living comfortably, within our means. Not to have stress with financial problems. And watching my kids grow up on the Christian path. If I achieve that. I will be successful.
Thanx to the people that answered my questions!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
"Do I Get Any Change With That?"
I asked this question at a shop the other to know if I should put my wallet back in my pocket or not. The answer was yes.
The thing is that there will always be change, nothing stays constant. So it's kind of pointless fighting it, we just got to accept and go with the flow.
Personally a lot of change had gone on in my life over the past four or so years, having my dad walk out and all that jazz. Although this might affect some people, truth be told I never liked my dad anyway (apparently I'm a good judge of character), but it never really hit me. This I can owe to my mother who tried her hardest to keep our lives unchanged. Then the day came when something had to give. The house was sold and we where moving. The weekend before we moved was when it hit me. Flat in the face. When I had to carry my two Huskys Jack and Maya and put them into the back of a bakkie that would take them to a farm, where they would help Rehab patients. That was the day that I wanted to literally punch my father in the face until... Yeah.
I'm a total dog person. Give me any dog and I'll enjoy them. I've always grown up with dogs. The ones that where special to me where Bonnie, Bishop, Jack and Maya. They where my dogs.
Bonnie was there from the day I was born. She was a cross breed of German Shepard and Great Dane, she was beautiful, my mom told me of how she introduced me to her and Clyde. Apparently the one day I was crying and Bonnie came into the house and sat by my cot. Then didn't want to let my mom near me because she was so pissed off that she would let me cry. I watched home videos of me chilling in the back yard with two massive dogs on either side, sometimes hanging on their ears! I even remember going out and eating their chunks with them, feeding them with my hands and having a nap with them in their kennel.
Bonnie was still around when my brother was born, Clyde had died and we got a pure bred magpie Great Dane named him Bishop because he had a white dot write on his neck like a Priest! My brother would crawl around the back yard and mess with the puppy Bishop! Bonnie watching over, if my brother got too close to the pool or anything dangerous Bonnie would nudge him away. We where always safe.
Bishop was a nut! Like a huge horse clumsy looking. Always had this happy trot about him and when he lied down he would cross his front paws, a very civilized gentleman he was! He used to watch the football with my dad and I and go absolutely mad when I screamed for a goal! The one day we baked this awesome bread from scratch on the braai, it smelt amazing! Left it to cool in the kitchen! Bam next thing you know its gone! Bishop helped himself!
We picked up Maya from the SPCA. A beautiful hazel Siberian Husky. One pale blue almost white eye and a hazel eye. Bishop and Maya two peas in a pod! In separable. I remember when we brought Maya home, she was scared shitless! She hid under the shed for a week. On a Saturday Bishop and I sat there literally the whole day and waited for her to come out. Bishop thought he did something, the guy looked so bleak! We eventually got her out. Bishop was the type of dog you didn't have to put on a leash, in fact the one day he went for a stroll and the lady from up the road found him and he showed her the way back home! You couldn't separate the two, they would cry incessantly. One day Bishop stopped eating and lost a hell of a lot of weight, we took him to the vet and he had cancer. Saying bye to him was really hard. He didn't want to come back home, he didn't want to put us through it. Maya cried for weeks.
Jack was another Siberian Husky from the SPCA. Same eyes as Maya, he was black! My dogs actually used to talk to you! In this howling like thing and you could reply back and they would reply! Jack picked this up very quick and let me tell you this dense guy was amazing to talk to! Within the first week he ran out the gate, and across Comaro road getting knocked twice then back up into until the fool realized he got hit then started limping! My heart sank.. I ran to him carried him home and noticed he was bleeding, I cleaned up the cut on his paw, and after getting knocked by two cars you'd expect him to be broken? We where pulling out the car to take him to the vet and where is Jack? Running around and jumping like nothing happened!
Maya and Jack, laziest Huskys if ever, they hogged the heater in winter, hogged my blanket! Licked my face at 5:30 every morning. Most importantly Licked my tears away during the hard times.
Those guys above where MY dogs, you did anything to them and I'd have your head! Haha, unfortunately as a result of selfishness something did happen to them. I still struggle to fall asleep knowing that there is no extra warmth in my bed, no one to share my food with, it kills me to throw away braai bones.
Seeing Jack and Maya in the back of that bakkie last year is what ripped me to pieces. Yes, that day changed my life. That day I realized that my dogs where the only constant in my life, my strong hold. I could lose everything in my life but as long as I had them I'd be fine, never did I think there would be no one barking when I got home. No protection.
"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan
Yes I got change with my purchase. Not the type I wanted, but change none the less. So now moving again, I can't help but get pissed off at my father, I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for his actions resulting in me losing my dogs. Only time will tell.
"Change is inevitable, so shut your mouth and deal with it!"- Kyle Reddy.
The thing is that there will always be change, nothing stays constant. So it's kind of pointless fighting it, we just got to accept and go with the flow.
Personally a lot of change had gone on in my life over the past four or so years, having my dad walk out and all that jazz. Although this might affect some people, truth be told I never liked my dad anyway (apparently I'm a good judge of character), but it never really hit me. This I can owe to my mother who tried her hardest to keep our lives unchanged. Then the day came when something had to give. The house was sold and we where moving. The weekend before we moved was when it hit me. Flat in the face. When I had to carry my two Huskys Jack and Maya and put them into the back of a bakkie that would take them to a farm, where they would help Rehab patients. That was the day that I wanted to literally punch my father in the face until... Yeah.
I'm a total dog person. Give me any dog and I'll enjoy them. I've always grown up with dogs. The ones that where special to me where Bonnie, Bishop, Jack and Maya. They where my dogs.
Bonnie was there from the day I was born. She was a cross breed of German Shepard and Great Dane, she was beautiful, my mom told me of how she introduced me to her and Clyde. Apparently the one day I was crying and Bonnie came into the house and sat by my cot. Then didn't want to let my mom near me because she was so pissed off that she would let me cry. I watched home videos of me chilling in the back yard with two massive dogs on either side, sometimes hanging on their ears! I even remember going out and eating their chunks with them, feeding them with my hands and having a nap with them in their kennel.
Bonnie was still around when my brother was born, Clyde had died and we got a pure bred magpie Great Dane named him Bishop because he had a white dot write on his neck like a Priest! My brother would crawl around the back yard and mess with the puppy Bishop! Bonnie watching over, if my brother got too close to the pool or anything dangerous Bonnie would nudge him away. We where always safe.
Bishop was a nut! Like a huge horse clumsy looking. Always had this happy trot about him and when he lied down he would cross his front paws, a very civilized gentleman he was! He used to watch the football with my dad and I and go absolutely mad when I screamed for a goal! The one day we baked this awesome bread from scratch on the braai, it smelt amazing! Left it to cool in the kitchen! Bam next thing you know its gone! Bishop helped himself!
We picked up Maya from the SPCA. A beautiful hazel Siberian Husky. One pale blue almost white eye and a hazel eye. Bishop and Maya two peas in a pod! In separable. I remember when we brought Maya home, she was scared shitless! She hid under the shed for a week. On a Saturday Bishop and I sat there literally the whole day and waited for her to come out. Bishop thought he did something, the guy looked so bleak! We eventually got her out. Bishop was the type of dog you didn't have to put on a leash, in fact the one day he went for a stroll and the lady from up the road found him and he showed her the way back home! You couldn't separate the two, they would cry incessantly. One day Bishop stopped eating and lost a hell of a lot of weight, we took him to the vet and he had cancer. Saying bye to him was really hard. He didn't want to come back home, he didn't want to put us through it. Maya cried for weeks.
Jack was another Siberian Husky from the SPCA. Same eyes as Maya, he was black! My dogs actually used to talk to you! In this howling like thing and you could reply back and they would reply! Jack picked this up very quick and let me tell you this dense guy was amazing to talk to! Within the first week he ran out the gate, and across Comaro road getting knocked twice then back up into until the fool realized he got hit then started limping! My heart sank.. I ran to him carried him home and noticed he was bleeding, I cleaned up the cut on his paw, and after getting knocked by two cars you'd expect him to be broken? We where pulling out the car to take him to the vet and where is Jack? Running around and jumping like nothing happened!
Maya and Jack, laziest Huskys if ever, they hogged the heater in winter, hogged my blanket! Licked my face at 5:30 every morning. Most importantly Licked my tears away during the hard times.
Those guys above where MY dogs, you did anything to them and I'd have your head! Haha, unfortunately as a result of selfishness something did happen to them. I still struggle to fall asleep knowing that there is no extra warmth in my bed, no one to share my food with, it kills me to throw away braai bones.
Seeing Jack and Maya in the back of that bakkie last year is what ripped me to pieces. Yes, that day changed my life. That day I realized that my dogs where the only constant in my life, my strong hold. I could lose everything in my life but as long as I had them I'd be fine, never did I think there would be no one barking when I got home. No protection.
"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan
Yes I got change with my purchase. Not the type I wanted, but change none the less. So now moving again, I can't help but get pissed off at my father, I don't know if I'll ever forgive him for his actions resulting in me losing my dogs. Only time will tell.
"Change is inevitable, so shut your mouth and deal with it!"- Kyle Reddy.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
"Who The Fuck Knows?"
You know people are always talking about this happy place, a place in your mind or in reality where everything melts away. The stress and the worry, where there is no war, no fighting, no crying, screaming or fear, no tears just perfect contentment.
On form four camp, on our way down the mountain I found a spot where the sunlight broke through the leaves in little beams, the floor was covered by soft leaves and there was a stream. This I thought to myself is my happy place. That when told to find it I would think of this.
At this point in my life I'm really confused about a lot of things, life, love, future, past. You could say I need some guidance but each new person to give me advice kind of just builds on the knowledge of what I already have. It seems that I have a lot of thinking to do. In terms on where this path that I'm making for myself is going to go, the scariest thing though is that this is a path I'm creating myself, I have no mentors, no rolemodel and no one to seek advice from. No one has walked my path. At least when I wanted to play for Liverpool I had Gerrard, Ian Rush, Robbie Fowler and John Barnes to look up to, and say "hey this is how Rushie did it, that's what I'm going to do!" Today my cousin said that our biggest disadvantage is that our family isn't loaded. That we knew that whatever we did its fine because we had something to fall back on.
I don't think I have a happy place yet. I've really being trying to find this Utopia, but I just can't. Maybe it is due to the fact that I'm struggling to find myself to realise who I am? What's my purpose? or maybe its because I'm struggling to see a point to a lot of things.
I tried this meditation thing, and like I did it in stages:
Stage 1: Pray
Stage 2: Reflect
Stage 3: Think (this takes a hell of a long time because unfortunately I tend to think about EVERY little detail)
Stage 4: Stop thinking (Yes this is a stage because it's really hard)
Stage 5: Get negativity out your body and
Stage 6: Nothing...
I found this really calming, because in the 20minutes that I did this I felt completely calm afterwards, I fell back on my pillow and had the best nights sleep I've ever had. That state of nothingness calmed me.
I've recently been watching a hell of a lot of documentaries, one of witch was this guy who for two and a half years walled along the Amazon river. He started where. The first droplets are formed on the snow capped mountains of Peru and then along the tributary. He started off with a mate and two months in this guy pulled out, it was effectively on him and his guide. For two and a half years this guy trekked stopping at villages along the way, walking through hostile drug smuggling territory. This amazed me as I thought "Shit all that time! You must come out knowing exactly who you are, this guy had an amazing amount of mental strength."
I feel that I need something like that. No distractions, no phone, no TV not anything. Dump me somewhere isolated and let me figure out this puzzle in my head that just happens to be my life. Let find importance of the little things again, instead of seeing how it fits in the big picture. I need an expedition of self discovery to find my path, because right now "Who the fuck knows?".
So in terms of finding your happy place? First you got to figure out what makes you happy, and to find that you have got to know who you are.
On form four camp, on our way down the mountain I found a spot where the sunlight broke through the leaves in little beams, the floor was covered by soft leaves and there was a stream. This I thought to myself is my happy place. That when told to find it I would think of this.
At this point in my life I'm really confused about a lot of things, life, love, future, past. You could say I need some guidance but each new person to give me advice kind of just builds on the knowledge of what I already have. It seems that I have a lot of thinking to do. In terms on where this path that I'm making for myself is going to go, the scariest thing though is that this is a path I'm creating myself, I have no mentors, no rolemodel and no one to seek advice from. No one has walked my path. At least when I wanted to play for Liverpool I had Gerrard, Ian Rush, Robbie Fowler and John Barnes to look up to, and say "hey this is how Rushie did it, that's what I'm going to do!" Today my cousin said that our biggest disadvantage is that our family isn't loaded. That we knew that whatever we did its fine because we had something to fall back on.
I don't think I have a happy place yet. I've really being trying to find this Utopia, but I just can't. Maybe it is due to the fact that I'm struggling to find myself to realise who I am? What's my purpose? or maybe its because I'm struggling to see a point to a lot of things.
I tried this meditation thing, and like I did it in stages:
Stage 1: Pray
Stage 2: Reflect
Stage 3: Think (this takes a hell of a long time because unfortunately I tend to think about EVERY little detail)
Stage 4: Stop thinking (Yes this is a stage because it's really hard)
Stage 5: Get negativity out your body and
Stage 6: Nothing...
I found this really calming, because in the 20minutes that I did this I felt completely calm afterwards, I fell back on my pillow and had the best nights sleep I've ever had. That state of nothingness calmed me.
I've recently been watching a hell of a lot of documentaries, one of witch was this guy who for two and a half years walled along the Amazon river. He started where. The first droplets are formed on the snow capped mountains of Peru and then along the tributary. He started off with a mate and two months in this guy pulled out, it was effectively on him and his guide. For two and a half years this guy trekked stopping at villages along the way, walking through hostile drug smuggling territory. This amazed me as I thought "Shit all that time! You must come out knowing exactly who you are, this guy had an amazing amount of mental strength."
I feel that I need something like that. No distractions, no phone, no TV not anything. Dump me somewhere isolated and let me figure out this puzzle in my head that just happens to be my life. Let find importance of the little things again, instead of seeing how it fits in the big picture. I need an expedition of self discovery to find my path, because right now "Who the fuck knows?".
So in terms of finding your happy place? First you got to figure out what makes you happy, and to find that you have got to know who you are.
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