This is just something I wrote a long time back about someone, as the title states, about a very special girl. She is still very special to me today, but yeah.. The rest of the story explains..
Enjoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first time I met her I thought nothing of her, except that she was a pretty girl, but defiantly not my type.
When I got the chance I looked into her eyes to try and see her soul but I couldn't, I couldn't see past that well practiced pleasant smile she put on for everyone. The smile fooled me too.
She captivated me as little by little I gave her my soul and she gave me hers. Its difficult to keep my attention but I was never bored, always challenged by her ideas, motivated by her support and comforted by her affection.
Behind that smile I found her soul, it was beautiful. No words can describe it. Although tainted by her own insecurities, her own doubts, I saw the real thing, the raw emotion that shone like the sun but could still be as delicate as a flower.
Her incredible intelligence was her downfall. Many where intimidated by her superiority and her strongest weapon, that smile! It told people that the world was hers and she knew it. But still, she doubted.
She was this amazing human being, actually saying that doesn't do her any justice. I was never on par with her on anything. She was out of my league but yet she apparently couldn't function without me. That was a lie. I had managed to cram myself into her life somewhere and she started to believe she relied on me, and I started to think I needed her. I do.
I fucked it up. In a haze of confusion I'm losing her slowly. I'm losing myself. A drunken man speaks a sober mans mind, and I guess that's what I'd been wanting without realising. She was that one, and it made sense for that moment. Fuck, it was good.
You see the difference between me and her is that she refuses to speak with her heart. Its her head that rules and that's why that smile fools us. We mistake it for her emotion.
Her head told her that it was a mistake, that it should have never happened. Her heart said it will be perfect.
She hides behind her smile, as do I.. Except mine is to not allow her to see this hurt that is tearing a hole through my torso. The pain that cripples me and shreds me to pieces everytime she brushes my arm. I'll hide behind this mask of arrogance and laughter just so I can see her, and let her know that I too am believing the lie that what happened was not meant to be.
I'll hide from her, I'll hide from the person I want to find..........
Everyone talks about meeting "the one", they say that when you meet her you just know.
I guess I'll keep searching...
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
shit happens
I know a few of my readers have been asking what is going on but yeah, a mate of mine pointed out that my web page is incorrectly spelt.. Yeah I am an idiot! Shit happens.. So I'm moving web addresses because it has been irritating me too, and stress when up and running I will be posting because I have been writing shit loads so please be patient!
Thanx!
Thanx!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Backpacking Through Ballito
Ok so I know a lot of my posts have been soppy shit and things that are really emotional and deep. This is not a post like that, this post that follows is a experience I had just a couple days ago, new years eve 2011 to be more specific. Probably the craziest thing I ever did.
So the plan was to meet with my cousins and head down to a house in Ballito my eldest cousin Cammy organised . We intended to have a braai and drink ourselves broken and usher in the new year.
And this is what happened...
December 30th
Get a BBM message from Tyrone (my long time best friend) to ask what I'm doing for new years eve and I tell him "the plan". This is where is began. I just after that conversation I learned that my uncles where heading to Ballito on Saturday (new years eve) because its nice and safe for little ones with all the rock pools and shit. So I figured why wait till 9pm for my cousins to pick me up? I could get to Lito where everyone was, spend the day then jam with the cousins and Ty when the sun goes down. Thus cued frantic BBMing and plan making..
New Plan
Head to Ballito with my Uncles and Tyrone and spend the day there then join my Cousins at their beach party.
Saturday 31st
Woke up bright and early to watch the Sun rise. Fuck knows why seen as I watched Liverpool whack Newcastle 3.1 till about 1am. I couldn't go back to sleep. I arranged for Ty to meet us at Gateway at 8am and we would pick him up and then drive to Lalalalalal LITO!!!
Unfortunately between my gran and me getting lost in Gateway I only got Tyrone at 9ish.. Sorry bud.
The trip to Lala land was on! In the car! whack loaded about R700 in my pocket, a quart of Smirnoff and ready to dop hard!
Arrive in Ballito and set up the shit for the family and give Luis Sinho Dos Santos a call, mother fucker still snoozing. Anyway he drives to where tyrone and I are, we just about greeting him and a cop car drives past and Luis ducks, causing suspicion cop requests license.. Fuck nut Dos Santos left it at his place. So I lend him my shorts because he is still in his PJs and we walk the length of Lito to his place say "Awe" to his older boet Anthony Meyer and walk back to the car. About 30min in Lito and we getting attention from the cops.
This was now the pivotal point in the weekend where Ty and I decided to buy tickets for the Ballito street party. We had the cash, we had the time , we where there. Why the fuck not??!
Tickets in hand now walking the mainest people alive.
Head to the beach for a little swim and Luis had to meet someone for lunch so Ty and I decide to look for a place to eat, about an hour in we get a life saving phone call to head back to my family for chow. Pizza.
Note that all the while Tyrone and I decided to take various routs to see what's happening around Ballito.
After Pizza we where keen to watch the United game. To bar searching begun.. More walking! We found the area where the party would be held and shit. Unsuccessful in our ventures we decided to go back to my family and just relax.
Relaxing took all of 10minutes when Claire Flowerday gave us a shout to come join us for a drink. It took another 10minutes for Ty and I to contemplate if our legs would carry us the distance. She said this bar was "Near the city center" now one would think this is where the party was, because the party was in the City Center. No this bar was literally across the road from where Ty and I where sitting! Unknowingly we walked right past it and thus again walking Ballito! When we found this bar a whole lot of rude words where used to describe our stupidity. So we ended up joining Claire for a drink!
Now begins the crazy part! We had about 5 hours still to kill and where completely alone. Scary.
New Plan
Kill 5 hours, charge phones, get food head to the party! Easy eh?
How we did it, broke into Luis hotel and saw his bro home, asked Meyer if we could borrow electricity and bam! Chargers!
Swam in that hotel pool killed about two hours.
Luis arrived home but wouldn't be for long, we had about an hour more till he was gone, Ty and I had to be ready to joll so we could leave our bags inside his house.
We decided to have a shower in the beach showers, cold water, no soap. As we where rinsing ourselves off a chick joined us if I remember her words correctly "Do you mind if I jump in with you?" HOT!!! Ran around to the bathrooms, got changed, started smell decent we pocketed our essentials and off we went dropped our shit at Luis and headed to the party.
Our walking to the party brought up many unlikely events. First of all it was pissing down and a tad bit chilly, but this was the least of our concerns. I was starting to stress about this fucking quart we had carried around with us the whole day, and Ty was getting hungry!
The problem with the quart was that we needed a bottle opener. So we asked people who had set up camp in their cars on the side of the road. We came across a really drunk but friendly group of people and they lent us the opener. However this one chick had other thoughts, she wanted to show us how to open it with a lighter, a fucking lighter! That was legit! We got talking and I discovered that one of those chicks where my mate Ashley Archers aunts! Haha like what the fuck right!?
Opened quart of Smirnoff, shitting now because there are cops everywhere! Wasn't keen on getting busted. So for supper we carboloaded on slop chips and rolls, and bought lemon flavor vitamin water. Transferred the Smirnoff into that and I tell you it looks exactly the same!
Tyrone and I chilled on the side walk waiting for Claire Lawrence and her mates and going over our alternate identities to pick up chicks(for my lonely ass). Eventually we got restless..
We headed in.................
Oh my fuck!! As we walked in the we couldn't contain ourselves!! Our smiles where so big they where growing off our face! Gareth Cliff was on the decks fucking shit up to the extreme! First round of drinks and we went and danced like idiots but "who the fuck cares??" That became our motto for the night.
There was this oldish lady about 40, dancing infront of us wearing nothing but short shorts and a bikini top. Haba haba her tits where fucking amazing! Milf to the max!
We discovered this club incorporated into the party, Shakers, drinks where cheaper, hot bar tenders in bikinis, crowd wasn't too insane, glass bottles and most importantly proper toilets! Ty and I went in and out of that place so often the bouncers started to recognize us and treated us like VIPs..
Midnight was closing in fast, every time I asked tyrone how much longer he said 5minutes, I've been asking him that for the last hour? We still hadn't found Claire and Mikky but hell, we tried to find other chicks to have the first shot of Vodka for 2012 with us. Asked 6 chicks, got rejected by 4. Not bad.
Midnight struck, there I was pissed, drenched in alcohol and rain, dancing my fucking legs off with my best mate. Priceless.
We sent out a few SMS's and Ty called his chick. We decided to head back to the main dancefloor to fuck shit up and finally ran into Claire, Mikky and her brother (don't know his name). Wished them happy New Year, headed back to Shakers, skipped the cues stood at the bar for like 30minuts wanting to buy shots, made friends with this decent looking chick. Told her I was a writer for a UK based tourism agency. So I go on holiday and write about it. I was 21 years old and still studying through correspondence. She seemed interested and started making solid moves toward me, touching whispering she even bit my ear, I noticed a ring on her finger and was like "and that?". Bitch was married! 30 years old! Fuck! Funny as shit but Fuck! Told her I was with that hot blond, pointing at Claire, bought the shots and fucked off back to the group.
Shot Claire! You saved my ass!
After that usual shit happened, had a smoke, took a piss bought more booze, found Parktown okes.
Fresh was on the decks then came on and said something, I don't know but we all screamed, then said "You people are fucking drunk". Love that guy! Party was closed. Had to head somewhere to crash. At 4am!
Walking down Compensation Beach road at 4am, pissed was fucking fun! We had to get back to Luis to pick up our shit, yeah break into the hotel for the 5th time. We did so, Ty passed out in the foyer because we where waiting for Luis to get back. After a while it dawned upon me that he was already back, got Ty up lifted me on his shoulders, woke Luis up through the window and got our shit and left. We found a lot of people chilling on the benches along the beach so we joined them.
As the sun rose for the first time in 2012 it dawned upon me that we had accomplished something insane. I had headed down to Durbs with no other plan but to head to Ballito for New Years eve, that's about the only thing that went according to plan. Crashed on the bench.
Now that I think about it, I've been trying to be so in control of everything for the past couple of years that when it doesn't go according to plan I freak out.
I decided then and there what my New Years Resolutions where:
Gym
Party
Study
And probably the most important one, let the fuck go! "Do your best and God will do the rest" just got to surrender.
I'm shitting myself for 2012 I won't lie, last year I fucked up a lot of things. It's literally now or never but I got this crazy sense of accomplishment from this trip, no accommodation no real plan. So why should I shit myself for the structured environment where there is a method to success?
Tyrone my boy! That night was almost perfect, and you know what was missing but to be honest, I couldn't have asked for a greater night and a greater person to start this monumental year off with.
Claire and Mikky shot for making Ty and I not look like gays! Looking forward to many more similar jolls in the year to come!
2012, Let's fuck shit up!
So the plan was to meet with my cousins and head down to a house in Ballito my eldest cousin Cammy organised . We intended to have a braai and drink ourselves broken and usher in the new year.
And this is what happened...
December 30th
Get a BBM message from Tyrone (my long time best friend) to ask what I'm doing for new years eve and I tell him "the plan". This is where is began. I just after that conversation I learned that my uncles where heading to Ballito on Saturday (new years eve) because its nice and safe for little ones with all the rock pools and shit. So I figured why wait till 9pm for my cousins to pick me up? I could get to Lito where everyone was, spend the day then jam with the cousins and Ty when the sun goes down. Thus cued frantic BBMing and plan making..
New Plan
Head to Ballito with my Uncles and Tyrone and spend the day there then join my Cousins at their beach party.
Saturday 31st
Woke up bright and early to watch the Sun rise. Fuck knows why seen as I watched Liverpool whack Newcastle 3.1 till about 1am. I couldn't go back to sleep. I arranged for Ty to meet us at Gateway at 8am and we would pick him up and then drive to Lalalalalal LITO!!!
Unfortunately between my gran and me getting lost in Gateway I only got Tyrone at 9ish.. Sorry bud.
The trip to Lala land was on! In the car! whack loaded about R700 in my pocket, a quart of Smirnoff and ready to dop hard!
Arrive in Ballito and set up the shit for the family and give Luis Sinho Dos Santos a call, mother fucker still snoozing. Anyway he drives to where tyrone and I are, we just about greeting him and a cop car drives past and Luis ducks, causing suspicion cop requests license.. Fuck nut Dos Santos left it at his place. So I lend him my shorts because he is still in his PJs and we walk the length of Lito to his place say "Awe" to his older boet Anthony Meyer and walk back to the car. About 30min in Lito and we getting attention from the cops.
This was now the pivotal point in the weekend where Ty and I decided to buy tickets for the Ballito street party. We had the cash, we had the time , we where there. Why the fuck not??!
Tickets in hand now walking the mainest people alive.
Head to the beach for a little swim and Luis had to meet someone for lunch so Ty and I decide to look for a place to eat, about an hour in we get a life saving phone call to head back to my family for chow. Pizza.
Note that all the while Tyrone and I decided to take various routs to see what's happening around Ballito.
After Pizza we where keen to watch the United game. To bar searching begun.. More walking! We found the area where the party would be held and shit. Unsuccessful in our ventures we decided to go back to my family and just relax.
Relaxing took all of 10minutes when Claire Flowerday gave us a shout to come join us for a drink. It took another 10minutes for Ty and I to contemplate if our legs would carry us the distance. She said this bar was "Near the city center" now one would think this is where the party was, because the party was in the City Center. No this bar was literally across the road from where Ty and I where sitting! Unknowingly we walked right past it and thus again walking Ballito! When we found this bar a whole lot of rude words where used to describe our stupidity. So we ended up joining Claire for a drink!
Now begins the crazy part! We had about 5 hours still to kill and where completely alone. Scary.
New Plan
Kill 5 hours, charge phones, get food head to the party! Easy eh?
How we did it, broke into Luis hotel and saw his bro home, asked Meyer if we could borrow electricity and bam! Chargers!
Swam in that hotel pool killed about two hours.
Luis arrived home but wouldn't be for long, we had about an hour more till he was gone, Ty and I had to be ready to joll so we could leave our bags inside his house.
We decided to have a shower in the beach showers, cold water, no soap. As we where rinsing ourselves off a chick joined us if I remember her words correctly "Do you mind if I jump in with you?" HOT!!! Ran around to the bathrooms, got changed, started smell decent we pocketed our essentials and off we went dropped our shit at Luis and headed to the party.
Our walking to the party brought up many unlikely events. First of all it was pissing down and a tad bit chilly, but this was the least of our concerns. I was starting to stress about this fucking quart we had carried around with us the whole day, and Ty was getting hungry!
The problem with the quart was that we needed a bottle opener. So we asked people who had set up camp in their cars on the side of the road. We came across a really drunk but friendly group of people and they lent us the opener. However this one chick had other thoughts, she wanted to show us how to open it with a lighter, a fucking lighter! That was legit! We got talking and I discovered that one of those chicks where my mate Ashley Archers aunts! Haha like what the fuck right!?
Opened quart of Smirnoff, shitting now because there are cops everywhere! Wasn't keen on getting busted. So for supper we carboloaded on slop chips and rolls, and bought lemon flavor vitamin water. Transferred the Smirnoff into that and I tell you it looks exactly the same!
Tyrone and I chilled on the side walk waiting for Claire Lawrence and her mates and going over our alternate identities to pick up chicks(for my lonely ass). Eventually we got restless..
We headed in.................
Oh my fuck!! As we walked in the we couldn't contain ourselves!! Our smiles where so big they where growing off our face! Gareth Cliff was on the decks fucking shit up to the extreme! First round of drinks and we went and danced like idiots but "who the fuck cares??" That became our motto for the night.
There was this oldish lady about 40, dancing infront of us wearing nothing but short shorts and a bikini top. Haba haba her tits where fucking amazing! Milf to the max!
We discovered this club incorporated into the party, Shakers, drinks where cheaper, hot bar tenders in bikinis, crowd wasn't too insane, glass bottles and most importantly proper toilets! Ty and I went in and out of that place so often the bouncers started to recognize us and treated us like VIPs..
Midnight was closing in fast, every time I asked tyrone how much longer he said 5minutes, I've been asking him that for the last hour? We still hadn't found Claire and Mikky but hell, we tried to find other chicks to have the first shot of Vodka for 2012 with us. Asked 6 chicks, got rejected by 4. Not bad.
Midnight struck, there I was pissed, drenched in alcohol and rain, dancing my fucking legs off with my best mate. Priceless.
We sent out a few SMS's and Ty called his chick. We decided to head back to the main dancefloor to fuck shit up and finally ran into Claire, Mikky and her brother (don't know his name). Wished them happy New Year, headed back to Shakers, skipped the cues stood at the bar for like 30minuts wanting to buy shots, made friends with this decent looking chick. Told her I was a writer for a UK based tourism agency. So I go on holiday and write about it. I was 21 years old and still studying through correspondence. She seemed interested and started making solid moves toward me, touching whispering she even bit my ear, I noticed a ring on her finger and was like "and that?". Bitch was married! 30 years old! Fuck! Funny as shit but Fuck! Told her I was with that hot blond, pointing at Claire, bought the shots and fucked off back to the group.
Shot Claire! You saved my ass!
After that usual shit happened, had a smoke, took a piss bought more booze, found Parktown okes.
Fresh was on the decks then came on and said something, I don't know but we all screamed, then said "You people are fucking drunk". Love that guy! Party was closed. Had to head somewhere to crash. At 4am!
Walking down Compensation Beach road at 4am, pissed was fucking fun! We had to get back to Luis to pick up our shit, yeah break into the hotel for the 5th time. We did so, Ty passed out in the foyer because we where waiting for Luis to get back. After a while it dawned upon me that he was already back, got Ty up lifted me on his shoulders, woke Luis up through the window and got our shit and left. We found a lot of people chilling on the benches along the beach so we joined them.
As the sun rose for the first time in 2012 it dawned upon me that we had accomplished something insane. I had headed down to Durbs with no other plan but to head to Ballito for New Years eve, that's about the only thing that went according to plan. Crashed on the bench.
Now that I think about it, I've been trying to be so in control of everything for the past couple of years that when it doesn't go according to plan I freak out.
I decided then and there what my New Years Resolutions where:
Gym
Party
Study
And probably the most important one, let the fuck go! "Do your best and God will do the rest" just got to surrender.
I'm shitting myself for 2012 I won't lie, last year I fucked up a lot of things. It's literally now or never but I got this crazy sense of accomplishment from this trip, no accommodation no real plan. So why should I shit myself for the structured environment where there is a method to success?
Tyrone my boy! That night was almost perfect, and you know what was missing but to be honest, I couldn't have asked for a greater night and a greater person to start this monumental year off with.
Claire and Mikky shot for making Ty and I not look like gays! Looking forward to many more similar jolls in the year to come!
2012, Let's fuck shit up!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
La Familia
When you think of the word family it generally means a group of people that have links to one common member. Family in the Christian sense means anyone, because God is our father.
The funny thing about family is that we have this urge to seek solace and affection and we expect to be loved by these individuals because we have a common relative. Personally I think this is absolute crap. Blood is thicker than water? BULLSHIT!
My definition of family is, any individual that you feel a profound love for. Fuck it, even your dog can be your family!
I'm unfortunate in the sense that I grew up far away from any cousins my age, and Cohen, Cammy, Ryan and Cally I know what I'm about to say might hurt you'll but the fact is that it is the truth and I know that you'll would feel the same about certain things. I love you'll very much but unfortunately I have not spent that much time with you'll due to the fact that I'm in Jozi and honestly I envy your relationship with each other.
With my family I am the outsider, while most excel at academics I excel at other things, and I never get the recognition I deserve. From anyone. My family is full of really intelligent people, the type of people who have multiple degrees, sometimes in totally different fields. They are the type of people that have made it big. That have whack loads of money. Most of my relatives that are still in school are fucking geniuses and there's me, the runt of the litter.
I'm not here to have a pitty party, but I felt like you needed some idea of what it is. The thing is that I'm expected to exceed their achievements, I'm right now showing no potential of doing it. This scares them, and I constantly get lectures about my future. Its sad really that this "blood" of mine can't accept me for who I am, what I have achieved and the person I really am.
I was explaining to one of my kids in my Sunday school class that he was my brother and he couldn't fathom the fact that I believed strongly in this. OK yeah he was only 6 years old, but still people find it weird that I can call what seems to be a random selection of people my family, my brothers and sisters. The fact is that my friends know me better than my own family, they know how I function they actually give a shit. They actually care with no other motivation except because they love me!
I sometimes feel that with family they feel its their duty to care, to love. This is bullshit. There should be no other motivation but "its because I love you" and when asked why not because your family or I'm your aunty, uncle, cousin or whatever. Fuck that! Ill tell you now, my brother will probably be the only family standing up with me at the altar on my wedding day. Why, because at one stage of his life he said to me "Kyle I hate you" and when I asked why he replied "because you a asshole to me" BOOM! You might see this as disrespect of the highest note, or you might be ripped to shreds because he is your brother, no, I'm not his brother because I'm related to him I'm his brother because he is my best friend and that day I was neither. For that I love him.
So yeah that bullshit that you can't choose your family is bullshit, because I chose mine and yeah some of my blood is considered family but as far as I'm concerned if you have a relative in common with me, sweet we might as well like the same colours .
The funny thing about family is that we have this urge to seek solace and affection and we expect to be loved by these individuals because we have a common relative. Personally I think this is absolute crap. Blood is thicker than water? BULLSHIT!
My definition of family is, any individual that you feel a profound love for. Fuck it, even your dog can be your family!
I'm unfortunate in the sense that I grew up far away from any cousins my age, and Cohen, Cammy, Ryan and Cally I know what I'm about to say might hurt you'll but the fact is that it is the truth and I know that you'll would feel the same about certain things. I love you'll very much but unfortunately I have not spent that much time with you'll due to the fact that I'm in Jozi and honestly I envy your relationship with each other.
With my family I am the outsider, while most excel at academics I excel at other things, and I never get the recognition I deserve. From anyone. My family is full of really intelligent people, the type of people who have multiple degrees, sometimes in totally different fields. They are the type of people that have made it big. That have whack loads of money. Most of my relatives that are still in school are fucking geniuses and there's me, the runt of the litter.
I'm not here to have a pitty party, but I felt like you needed some idea of what it is. The thing is that I'm expected to exceed their achievements, I'm right now showing no potential of doing it. This scares them, and I constantly get lectures about my future. Its sad really that this "blood" of mine can't accept me for who I am, what I have achieved and the person I really am.
I was explaining to one of my kids in my Sunday school class that he was my brother and he couldn't fathom the fact that I believed strongly in this. OK yeah he was only 6 years old, but still people find it weird that I can call what seems to be a random selection of people my family, my brothers and sisters. The fact is that my friends know me better than my own family, they know how I function they actually give a shit. They actually care with no other motivation except because they love me!
I sometimes feel that with family they feel its their duty to care, to love. This is bullshit. There should be no other motivation but "its because I love you" and when asked why not because your family or I'm your aunty, uncle, cousin or whatever. Fuck that! Ill tell you now, my brother will probably be the only family standing up with me at the altar on my wedding day. Why, because at one stage of his life he said to me "Kyle I hate you" and when I asked why he replied "because you a asshole to me" BOOM! You might see this as disrespect of the highest note, or you might be ripped to shreds because he is your brother, no, I'm not his brother because I'm related to him I'm his brother because he is my best friend and that day I was neither. For that I love him.
So yeah that bullshit that you can't choose your family is bullshit, because I chose mine and yeah some of my blood is considered family but as far as I'm concerned if you have a relative in common with me, sweet we might as well like the same colours .
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Knock Knock
This blogging thing has been a really awesome experience for me. Initially it was an avenue to get rid of pent up frustration and just rip people off but it has evolved.. It has evolved into a place where I can analyse things, people, behaviors and myself.
The highlight of my blogging career was on the 26th of October 2011 when I posted about the Babalas Enoch. I got 95 hits. Now for some its not that many, but when you are averaging at around 10-20 per post and you crack 95 in a matter of hours is insanely huge! So just a word of thanks to everyone reading my blog. I know that I don't get money out of it but it brings me a sense of satisfaction that people from all over the world and from different walks of life are reading my thoughts on a page.
I remember when I was younger I had to write an English essay about the life of a coin. There are always things that change your outlook on life, and I believe that that essay did change mine. In the essay I put myself in the position of the coin and told the story of its life. From when it was minted feeling all good, to a time when he was abandoned on the street and even at one stage fulfilling a little girls dream when she woke up and found that the Tooth Fairy had left this coin under her pillow in exchange for her tooth!
After writing that, I never looked at a coin the same, I look at the date it was minted and I'm in awe at what this coin must have been through, what its witnessed and what its experienced. Who has held this? Could this have been in the hand of Mandela? Or even a drug lord? Its crazy if you think about it.
Its not only coins though, pebbles on a river bank, a old car, old tire. Everything has a story! Including you and me!
That's the one thing I love about this big beautiful blue planet! That you and me are so different, like a coin we have our own experiences, our own scars. We are a list of individuals, unique but yet all the same and this intrigues me quite a lot.
I have a story to share, like you have read. I've had experiences but they are probably so much different, or so similar to yours! You might not want to admit it but we as human beings are really quite similar!
What fascinates me even more is that there are people that are reading this that I probably have never met before, people that I probably will never meet. And it kind of kills me to know that 'Thought Simply Thought' is an extension of myself, some of the stuff is really intimate and I don't know who you are? Don't get me wrong it does bring me a weird sense of joy knowing that strangers read my blog.
What I really want to know is how did you find this particular blog?? I want to know your story! Please?
Drop me an email kylereddy0@gmail.com
Or follow me on twitter (my name is in the blurb under the title.)
'Knock Knock'
"Whose there?"
The highlight of my blogging career was on the 26th of October 2011 when I posted about the Babalas Enoch. I got 95 hits. Now for some its not that many, but when you are averaging at around 10-20 per post and you crack 95 in a matter of hours is insanely huge! So just a word of thanks to everyone reading my blog. I know that I don't get money out of it but it brings me a sense of satisfaction that people from all over the world and from different walks of life are reading my thoughts on a page.
I remember when I was younger I had to write an English essay about the life of a coin. There are always things that change your outlook on life, and I believe that that essay did change mine. In the essay I put myself in the position of the coin and told the story of its life. From when it was minted feeling all good, to a time when he was abandoned on the street and even at one stage fulfilling a little girls dream when she woke up and found that the Tooth Fairy had left this coin under her pillow in exchange for her tooth!
After writing that, I never looked at a coin the same, I look at the date it was minted and I'm in awe at what this coin must have been through, what its witnessed and what its experienced. Who has held this? Could this have been in the hand of Mandela? Or even a drug lord? Its crazy if you think about it.
Its not only coins though, pebbles on a river bank, a old car, old tire. Everything has a story! Including you and me!
That's the one thing I love about this big beautiful blue planet! That you and me are so different, like a coin we have our own experiences, our own scars. We are a list of individuals, unique but yet all the same and this intrigues me quite a lot.
I have a story to share, like you have read. I've had experiences but they are probably so much different, or so similar to yours! You might not want to admit it but we as human beings are really quite similar!
What fascinates me even more is that there are people that are reading this that I probably have never met before, people that I probably will never meet. And it kind of kills me to know that 'Thought Simply Thought' is an extension of myself, some of the stuff is really intimate and I don't know who you are? Don't get me wrong it does bring me a weird sense of joy knowing that strangers read my blog.
What I really want to know is how did you find this particular blog?? I want to know your story! Please?
Drop me an email kylereddy0@gmail.com
Or follow me on twitter (my name is in the blurb under the title.)
'Knock Knock'
"Whose there?"
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A Babalas Enoch
I bummed a lift to Melrose Arch the other day,it was with a colleague of my moms. His name was Guy. I kid you not! Apart from his weird name, Guy, he had a weird demeanor about him. Putting that aside I hopped into his green car eager to get going to my job shadowing.
On entering his car I noticed he had a small metal figure sitting on his dash bored. This metal sculpture was of a man sitting with his head resting in his right hand while his elbow rested on his thigh. I thought it was a really cool figure thing. Seemed like an interesting conversation piece.
After about 5 minutes of thinking about this figure, thinking of what was this little sculptures story. It must be a representation of the artist, maybe he was depressed? Maybe he regretted doing something? Maybe he had seen someone sitting in that position? If so what was that guys story? So I told Guy that his little metal man was really cool and he said "I call him my Babalas Enoch." (Babalas- South African term for Hangover, Enoch- I don't know..)
This hit me by surprise and I was a tad taken aback by Guys comment, here I'm thinking that this little man has something wrong, for all we know he could be crying and Guy sees it as a babalas person? This got me thinking.
We see things and intemperate things so differently depending on where our head is at the moment. This little man to me was holding his head because his thoughts where too heavy for his neck to support and Guy is like yeah he is hungover.
I think that this is really beautiful, because each and everyone of us see something in something. Get what I'm saying? Like when a psychologist tells you to look at a blob of paint on a paper, and you have to tell them what comes to mind. Like when you look at someone you are in love with, you can't see their faults. you see them, you see beauty. While your best friends sees absolutely nothing.
So I believe there is no such thing as a beautiful, or ugly person. Its just an interpretation of where your head is at. As for the Babalas Enoch, to me he will be the heavy thinker.
On entering his car I noticed he had a small metal figure sitting on his dash bored. This metal sculpture was of a man sitting with his head resting in his right hand while his elbow rested on his thigh. I thought it was a really cool figure thing. Seemed like an interesting conversation piece.
After about 5 minutes of thinking about this figure, thinking of what was this little sculptures story. It must be a representation of the artist, maybe he was depressed? Maybe he regretted doing something? Maybe he had seen someone sitting in that position? If so what was that guys story? So I told Guy that his little metal man was really cool and he said "I call him my Babalas Enoch." (Babalas- South African term for Hangover, Enoch- I don't know..)
This hit me by surprise and I was a tad taken aback by Guys comment, here I'm thinking that this little man has something wrong, for all we know he could be crying and Guy sees it as a babalas person? This got me thinking.
We see things and intemperate things so differently depending on where our head is at the moment. This little man to me was holding his head because his thoughts where too heavy for his neck to support and Guy is like yeah he is hungover.
I think that this is really beautiful, because each and everyone of us see something in something. Get what I'm saying? Like when a psychologist tells you to look at a blob of paint on a paper, and you have to tell them what comes to mind. Like when you look at someone you are in love with, you can't see their faults. you see them, you see beauty. While your best friends sees absolutely nothing.
So I believe there is no such thing as a beautiful, or ugly person. Its just an interpretation of where your head is at. As for the Babalas Enoch, to me he will be the heavy thinker.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Little House On The Hills
So this weekend is my grans brothers 50th wedding anniversary and we where invited. Its down in Petermaritzburg so the long journey awaited..
A lot of South Africans complain about our country and I know this might sound like a cliche but have we ever noticed how beautiful this country truly is? We are so blinded by our problems that we fail to see the brilliance God has blessed us with. Our natural beauty rivals many others.
I've often driven to Durban from Johannesburg, on the N3 South, as many of us do, and I always stare out the window as we drive past the cars, aimlessly in thought. One thing that is noticeable are the farms and an about two hours outside Johannesburg, the landscape, that consists of random mountains and open savanna. Absolutely stunning. This is just looking out the window, and when shades of brown from the savanna start turning to the greens of the midland, you know your about 2 hours from your destination. Another city. More roads, tall buildings, cars, and masses of people. What's to get excited for? Oh yeah, the beach, if you can hustle a good spot, but there is still so much noise. I can't believe I got excited for that! If it where just the breeze and crashing waves yeah it would be sweet, but is it ever?
We booked into this place near Mooiriver. It is absolutely beautiful. Its very simple, a gravel road, a small one bedroom house, a couple of trout dams, a small makeshift mushy golf course and horses. Its as if someone found this little spot, between the hills and was like" hey, let's put up a couple little houses and let it be.."
Well the point of this all is to say that we so often get caught up in the hype, negativity and just things in general, that we often forget about little places like this, where it doesn't seem like anything has happened, no politics, no crime and no negativity. This little place seems untouched, compared to Johannesburg where with each new day brings a new road.
Honestly, let's admit that the little most of us have seen of this country, we can say its a thing of beauty. God has truly blessed us abundantly. Desmond Tutu is onto something. He knows, he has seen and he marvels at the greatness, the marvelous, out amazing God. So what are we doing complaining about small things? Why do we complain? There is no place on Earth that is perfect, but I'll tell you this! South Africa comes pretty damn close to perfect! Please don't come and moan about our economy, and petty things. If you not willing to get off your ass and try make this beautiful land better then don't talk.
There is no signal here, so no contact from the outside world till we go into the city tomorrow night for the reunion, and to be honest, there is only one person I think I'll miss. I think. It will also give me time away to think. Away from technology and other influences. I say this and I'm typing this out.. Who knows what this beautiful, peaceful place will bring me? Will it bring me the clarity I've been seeking? I don't know, but for now I'll look ahead and see rolling green hills and a couple of farms. All ill hear are the birds, horses and wind.
"Free the animals"- Dave Van Vuuren. No mate you got it wrong, we are the caged animals, we need to free ourselves.
A lot of South Africans complain about our country and I know this might sound like a cliche but have we ever noticed how beautiful this country truly is? We are so blinded by our problems that we fail to see the brilliance God has blessed us with. Our natural beauty rivals many others.
I've often driven to Durban from Johannesburg, on the N3 South, as many of us do, and I always stare out the window as we drive past the cars, aimlessly in thought. One thing that is noticeable are the farms and an about two hours outside Johannesburg, the landscape, that consists of random mountains and open savanna. Absolutely stunning. This is just looking out the window, and when shades of brown from the savanna start turning to the greens of the midland, you know your about 2 hours from your destination. Another city. More roads, tall buildings, cars, and masses of people. What's to get excited for? Oh yeah, the beach, if you can hustle a good spot, but there is still so much noise. I can't believe I got excited for that! If it where just the breeze and crashing waves yeah it would be sweet, but is it ever?
We booked into this place near Mooiriver. It is absolutely beautiful. Its very simple, a gravel road, a small one bedroom house, a couple of trout dams, a small makeshift mushy golf course and horses. Its as if someone found this little spot, between the hills and was like" hey, let's put up a couple little houses and let it be.."
Well the point of this all is to say that we so often get caught up in the hype, negativity and just things in general, that we often forget about little places like this, where it doesn't seem like anything has happened, no politics, no crime and no negativity. This little place seems untouched, compared to Johannesburg where with each new day brings a new road.
Honestly, let's admit that the little most of us have seen of this country, we can say its a thing of beauty. God has truly blessed us abundantly. Desmond Tutu is onto something. He knows, he has seen and he marvels at the greatness, the marvelous, out amazing God. So what are we doing complaining about small things? Why do we complain? There is no place on Earth that is perfect, but I'll tell you this! South Africa comes pretty damn close to perfect! Please don't come and moan about our economy, and petty things. If you not willing to get off your ass and try make this beautiful land better then don't talk.
There is no signal here, so no contact from the outside world till we go into the city tomorrow night for the reunion, and to be honest, there is only one person I think I'll miss. I think. It will also give me time away to think. Away from technology and other influences. I say this and I'm typing this out.. Who knows what this beautiful, peaceful place will bring me? Will it bring me the clarity I've been seeking? I don't know, but for now I'll look ahead and see rolling green hills and a couple of farms. All ill hear are the birds, horses and wind.
"Free the animals"- Dave Van Vuuren. No mate you got it wrong, we are the caged animals, we need to free ourselves.
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