The Girl

This is just something I wrote a long time back about someone, as the title states, about a very special girl. She is still very special to me today, but yeah.. The rest of the story explains..

Enjoy

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The first time I met her I thought nothing of her, except that she was a pretty girl, but defiantly not my type.

When I got the chance I looked into her eyes to try and see her soul but I couldn't, I couldn't see past that well practiced pleasant smile she put on for everyone. The smile fooled me too.  

She captivated me as little by little I gave her my soul and she gave me hers. Its difficult to keep my attention but I was never bored, always challenged by her ideas, motivated by her support and comforted by her affection.

Behind that smile I found her soul, it was beautiful. No words can describe it. Although tainted by her own insecurities, her own doubts, I saw the real thing, the raw emotion that shone like the sun but could still be as delicate as a flower.

Her incredible intelligence was her downfall. Many where intimidated by her superiority and her strongest weapon, that smile! It told people that the world was hers and she knew it. But still, she doubted.

She was this amazing human being, actually saying that doesn't do her any justice. I was never on par with her on anything. She was out of my league but yet she apparently couldn't function without me. That was a lie. I had managed to cram myself into her life somewhere and she started to believe she relied on me, and I started to think I needed her. I do.

I fucked it up. In a haze of confusion I'm losing her slowly. I'm losing myself. A drunken man speaks a sober mans mind, and I guess that's what I'd been wanting without realising. She was that one, and it made sense for that moment. Fuck, it was good.

You see the difference between me and her is that she refuses to speak with her heart. Its her head that rules and that's why that smile fools us. We mistake it for her emotion.

Her head told her that it was a mistake, that it should have never happened. Her heart said it will be perfect.

She hides behind her smile, as do I.. Except mine is to not allow her to see this hurt that is tearing a hole through my torso. The pain that cripples me and shreds me to pieces everytime she brushes my arm. I'll hide behind this mask of arrogance and laughter just so I can see her, and let her know that I too am believing the lie that what happened was not meant to be.

I'll hide from her, I'll hide from the person I want to find..........

Everyone talks about meeting "the one", they say that when you meet her you just know.

I guess I'll keep searching...